by Dr. D Ivan Young, ICF Master Certified Coach

Even the most confident people in the world have experienced crippling self-doubt.

It’s normal to question yourself sometimes. However, underestimating your abilities can hinder your growth and progress.

Some self-doubt is healthy and can even serve as motivation to learn more and get better at what you do¹.

But what we’re talking about is crippling self-doubt, meaning self-doubt that’s all-consuming and more powerful than your desire to succeed.

Self-doubt is most appropriately defined as doubt about one’s self-competence². Self-competence is only one element of self-esteem, which is one’s overall view of oneself as a person.

Ideally, you have high self-esteem and a healthy amount of self-doubt. But this isn’t the case for a lot of us, especially at certain points in our lives.

As an ICF Master Certified Coach and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, I see self-doubt as a common obstacle for many of my clients. So how do they overcome their crippling self-doubt and use it as fuel to improve?

I’ll be going over the strategies we use. But first, what level of self-doubt is helpful?

Healthy Self-Doubt vs. Crippling Self-Doubt

Self-doubt and related stress can be healthy in small doses. But at a certain point, constantly questioning yourself turns into crippling self-doubt.

Self-doubt can be harmful to self-esteem, especially if steps aren’t taken to manage it³. Low self-esteem and high levels of self-doubt often go hand-in-hand.

So how do you know when self-doubt is helping you and when it’s harming you?

If you question your abilities whenever you’re faced with a new challenge, this isn’t inherently bad.

You might need to brush up on your knowledge and skills to achieve your new goal. However, if you don’t trust yourself to do what needs to be done and decide to not even try, you likely have crippling self-doubt.

Here are some other signs your self-doubt might be detrimental to your health and success:

Your emotions get in the way of rational decision-making.
There’s plenty of evidence that you’re capable, but you tend to doubt yourself anyway.
You constantly feel the need to justify your actions to yourself and others.
Self-sabotage is a common theme in your life. You procrastinate, set impossible goals or standards, or avoid opportunities that could help you meet your goals⁴.

If you notice these consistently, working out where your crippling self-doubt comes from is a great place to start on your healing journey.

What Causes Self-Doubt?

There are many potential reasons behind your crippling self-doubt.

Feelings of low self-esteem and self-doubt can often stem from being repeatedly told or treated as if you’re inadequate. This is usually carried out by an influential figure in your life. It could be a parent, guardian, teacher, or any other authority figure.

Those who feel unaccepted, especially when it comes to emotional responses, are more likely to experience anxiety and self-doubt⁵.

Validation-seeking behavior occurs as a result and affects rational and objective decision-making.

It’s crucial to understand that others’ opinions don’t define your worth.

Your previous experiences with failure or success can also affect your mindset.

If you’ve failed in the past, it’s normal to doubt your ability to succeed. Self-doubt resulting from previous failures can be either healthy or unhealthy.

If you let your past experiences prevent you from taking calculated risks, you’re allowing self-doubt to take over your life. But, if you use self-doubt as a motivator, it can encourage you to reflect on your previous mistakes and strive to improve going forward.

Therefore, a little self-doubt can be a good thing, unless you let it control your life.

In order to reap the benefits of self-doubt, you must recognize that it’s hurting you and then work to change it. Once you do this, you’re engaging in more self-reflection and less self-doubt.

You have the power to overcome these negative beliefs and build a strong sense of self-confidence.

What Can You Do to Reduce Your Crippling Self-Doubt?

Engaging in self-reflection and healing your crippling self-doubt is necessary for you to succeed and find happiness.

First, to get a grip on your self-doubt, it’s important to learn to take emotion out of the equation. As much as possible.

When we’re subjective, we tend to project high expectations and pressure onto ourselves.

Be honest about where you are, mentally and physically, and what your situation is.

1. Write down your limitations and strengths.

Once again, try to be objective.

What have you accomplished? Where can you improve?

It’s ok and normal to have challenges or limitations. What’s not okay is refusing to accept them and the fact that you have to work around them.

Think about what you need to do to rise to the challenge.

2. Write down your vision for yourself.

Where do you want to be, and how will achieving this goal help you get there?

If it’s not going to contribute to your vision, it might not be the right choice.

3. Set realistic milestones for achieving your goal.

See what happens to your crippling self-doubt when you break your larger goal down into smaller, manageable goals.

It’s common to experience feelings of doubt when confronted with a grand goal that seems far in the future. But achieving such a goal is possible if you take incremental steps toward it.

By breaking it down, you can gain a sense of control and direction. This process can help to alleviate feelings of self-doubt.

4. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else.

It’s hard not to compare yourself to others, especially with the presence of social media.

But it’s important to remember that what works for others may not work for you.

Give yourself the time and space to figure out what works best for you. And give yourself grace along the way.

5. Continue to work on improving your self-esteem.

If you cultivate a loving relationship with yourself, you’ll still have self-doubt from time-to-time. But you won’t suffer from crippling self-doubt.

Having high self-esteem is important to your health and well-being. So don’t accept not liking or believing in yourself.

The Importance of Self-Reflection in Overcoming Crippling Self-Doubt

The opposite extreme of crippling self-doubt is arrogance. This can be harmful as well.

Embrace uncertainty and accept that there will always be something that needs improvement. Making mistakes is a part of learning and growing, so don’t be too hard on yourself.

Questioning yourself doesn’t have to lead to crippling self-doubt. You can learn how to maintain a healthy level of self-doubt so you can move forward while still being aware of what needs to change.

If you’re feeling weighed down by crippling self-doubt and it’s affecting your career, relationships, or life in general, don’t suffer in silence.

Reach out to those who can truly empower you rather than enable you to stay stuck in a negative mindset. You deserve to live a fulfilling life. Taking the first step toward overcoming crippling self-doubt is a powerful way to start.

Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength and courage, not weakness.

I’d love to hear from you and help you reach your potential.

Contact Dr. D. Ivan Young

Bio – Dr. D Ivan Young is an expert on human behavior and relationships. He’s a Master Credentialed expert on personality type, an ICF credentialed Master Certified Coach, a Certified Professional Diversity Coach, and a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach. Dr. Young is also a member of the prestigious Forbes Coaches Council.