by Dr. D Ivan Young, ICF Master Certified Coach
You feel like quitting. You’ve been working hard, sacrificing time and energy, without achieving your desired result. You’ve given your business, or your career, your all. Yet it seems like your ultimate goals continue to elude you.
I more than most have experienced this many times in my life. But, there’s something I want you to know. You’re so much stronger than you think.
When you’ve been at it for so long, it’s natural to hit your breaking point eventually.
But the reality is that your success is right around the corner. Consistent, intentional effort over time truly is the key to success.
If you feel like the odds are against you or the universe is holding you back, you can eliminate that thought right now. That’s your fear and insecurity talking.
And they’re lying to you. It’s a fact that divine timing is playing a part in your success.
My former client was a quarterback in the NFL. He wasn’t the biggest dude by NFL standards, so he received criticism for his lack of tackling power.
He could have let this discourage him. He could’ve accepted that he didn’t have the natural physique or the speed required to play the sport well, but he didn’t.
Instead, he found other ways to take out his opponents. His level of intention was unrelenting; his work ethic left nothing on the table. With the finesse of a matador, he distracted them with his prowess and got into their heads.
So when your circumstances or natural talents aren’t helping you stay in the play, it’s up to you to dig deep.
Go all the way in, or don’t go in at all.
How I Help My Clients Go All In
When my clients express that they feel like quitting, I encourage them to reflect on a few key points.
Firstly, we work together to identify the root causes of their lack of confidence. Then, we address any self-imposed limitations that may be hindering their progress. Finally, we tap into their innate strengths and abilities to develop a plan of action that will help them move forward.
Throughout this process, I make it my mission to support and guide them so they’re empowered to achieve and exceed their goals.
When Should You Quit?
I don’t always encourage people to keep at it if they feel like quitting.
In fact, I never try to get my coaching clients to do one thing or the other. Instead, I partner with them to seek clarity and develop confidence to make the best decisions for themselves.
There are certain situations where quitting or adjusting your goals is better for you than continuing. Sometimes, it’s best to reassess or simply pivot.
These situations include when:
- Your goals no longer support your values.
- Your health, mental or physical, is suffering, and you need time.
- Accomplishing your goals won’t help you stay true to your “why”.
- The cost far exceeds the benefit.
Disengaging from a goal can be beneficial when you have other goals to prioritize or when it makes it easier to achieve your other goals. In either case, abandoning a specific goal can prevent a loss of purpose because you’re still working toward something important.¹
Sometimes quitting or redirecting your efforts is necessary to maintain your mental and emotional health and stay true to your core values.
But what do you do when you’re discouraged, yet you know deep down you shouldn’t quit?
When You Feel like Quitting, But You Really Don’t Want To
If your situation doesn’t fall into the above categories, pursuing your goals might still be a great move for you.
If you feel like quitting, but the thought of giving up your goals is devastating, it’s not time to throw in the towel.
When the pursuit of your goals isn’t going how you thought it would, try these strategies.
1. Write down what is working.
If certain habits and actions have been moving the needle even a bit, celebrate that.
Then, figure out if you can improve upon those habits and processes to speed up your progress. Odds are, not everything is going wrong. So, if you’re able to identify what’s working, improving upon those processes could be exactly what you need.
2. Revisit what you’ve already overcome.
You’ve had ups and downs. Odds are, you’ve already overcome a lot in your life.
Whether you’re struggling with a similar situation or you experienced success with something completely different, it’s essential to note that you’ve made it before.
If you’ve overcome similar challenges in the past, this is proof you can succeed again.
Reflecting on what you learned from past experiences can play a significant role in helping you attain your current goals. Not only can healthy self-reflection reinforce your self-efficacy, but it can also increase psychological resilience.
We tend to learn more from failing than from succeeding because when we succeed, we usually don’t analyze what went right². But when we fail, we often look for answers and try to learn how to do better next time.
However, if you pay attention to your successes and use them for motivation and troubleshooting, you’ll find there’s a lot to learn.
3. Surround yourself with the right people and inspiration.
Support and motivation can come from many different sources.
While pursuing your goals, it can be valuable to observe those who have already achieved similar goals. Every accomplished individual has encountered periods of adversity similar to those you’re experiencing.
This is a fact of which I’m living proof.
As a globally recognized life coach, I’ve experienced moments where I felt like quitting while uplifting and inspiring others not to. Although I maintained a cheerful demeanor externally, nobody, including my clients, knew how broken I felt internally.
But I kept going with the help of others, as well as some introspection.
So if you have an idol who’s accessible, don’t hesitate to talk to them and seek guidance and advice. You might be surprised to discover that many people can see qualities in you that you don’t see in yourself.
If your role model is a celebrity or someone you can’t get a hold of, read about their life. You’ll find that everything wasn’t always peaches and cream for them. They had a few rotten peaches and curdled cream along the way — just like you.
The other crucial step when you feel like quitting is to surround yourself with support.
This often looks like individuals who are pursuing similar goals and those who want to see you succeed, like friends and family. You can also seek an entrepreneurial community or lean on your professional network.
4. Give yourself space and time.
When you feel like quitting, you shouldn’t rush your decision. Making major choices like closing your business or giving up on your career aspirations is a process that you can’t take lightly.
Don’t give up just because you’re facing difficulties.
Divine timing doesn’t always match your own timeline, so it’s crucial to pause and reevaluate what you’re doing to achieve your goals. Be bold and remove any bad habits, people, or things that are hindering your progress and causing unnecessary distractions.
Remember, you have the power to take control of your life and make the necessary changes to achieve success.
You’ve probably heard, “when you feel like quitting, think about why you started”. This is always a good idea because it’s challenging to think clearly when you’re in the thick of it.
So take some time for introspection, get out in nature, and don’t forget to enjoy your favorite activities and the people in your life.
Sometimes you just need a break.
When You Feel like Quitting Because It’s Taking Up Too Much Time
It’s difficult to be patient and give yourself time to work something out. But you’ll be better off if you can develop a healthy relationship with time.
Studies have shown that having an open-ended future time perspective is related to higher subjective well-being³. Alternatively, those who have a limited view of the future are more focused on fast gratification and short-term well-being.
Creating quality takes time.
And it’s true, you don’t know how much time you have.
This is why it’s so important to make sure your goals still align with your values and ultimate purpose. Never lose sight of your “Why.”
If you’re working toward fulfilling your purpose, there’s no reason to rush it or feel like you’re wasting time.
At One Point, We All Feel Like Quitting
Life isn’t easy.
I wouldn’t have become an ICF Master Certified Coach, National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and an expert in relationships and behavior if I had given up when I felt like it.
And trust me, there were a lot of times I felt like quitting.
The advice I gave to you in this article is what I did to get through it all. I know you’re capable of accomplishing your goals if you’re willing to put in the work. Remember this, “You are so much stronger than you think!”
If you’re ready to get unstuck and achieve the “unachievable,” book a call with me.
You may feel like quitting, but that doesn’t mean you should.
Bio – Dr. D Ivan Young is an expert on human behavior and relationships. He’s a Master Credentialed expert on personality type, an ICF credentialed Master Certified Coach, a Certified Professional Diversity Coach, and a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach. Dr. Young is also a member of the prestigious Forbes Coaches Council.