by Dr. D Ivan Young, ICF Master Certified Coach
If you’re a seasoned adult, you’ve probably had times when you weren’t sure how to keep going. Maybe you’re going through it now.
As an adopted only child with deceased parents and few successful family members, when things go wrong, I have few people that I can call on for help.
Sometimes, the only hope I have is hope itself. But I always find a way. And trust me, you can too.
For most, it’s a struggle to stay focused because you feel like you’re out of fuel.
You might be unsure how to keep going when life is hard but rest assured, there are ways to make it easier for yourself.
When my clients are struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel, we brainstorm and create a plan that involves curiosity, reflection, and action. You need all of these if you’re going to move through your current situation.
Before we discuss how to keep going when you want to give up, let’s look at what influences motivation.
Motivation and Discipline
Countless theories on motivation explain why we do what we do.
There are three different types of motivation¹:
- Intrinsic motivation – fueled by a desire for internal contentment without expecting an external reward or outcome.
- Extrinsic motivation – focused on achieving an external reward or avoiding an unfavorable external outcome.
- Amotivation – A lack of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.
Motivation can come and go.
This is where discipline comes in.
The question is, how do you develop and maintain discipline if you’re struggling with motivation in the first place?
How to Keep Going When You Want to Quit
There are many building blocks for discipline. And what works for someone else might not be the answer for you.
Here are some effective strategies that can help you get started.
- Determine your “why”.
If you’re making choices, forming habits, and engaging in activities without a purpose, that within itself might be why you’re lacking motivation.
Determining your why and your life purpose gives you direction. It gives you the confidence to decide how to keep going.
- Draw on previous experiences.
Write down two to three examples of when you’ve overcome similar situations or something you didn’t think was possible.
You don’t need to have previous success in what you’re trying to do. Sometimes, it’s enough to know you have the ability to take whatever comes your way.
And you do – because you’ve done it before.
- Find what keeps you grounded.
Whenever I’m struggling, I choose the spiritual channel in the form of meditation, prayer, and affirmations.
But your faith doesn’t have to relate to religion.
Turn to people who remind you of why you’re fighting. Find activities that inspire you in your other pursuits.
During the most challenging times of my life, I’ve had people come out of nowhere who offered me the support I desperately needed. They welcomed me without judgment and with a lot of empathy.
I strive to treat my clients the same way. When I’m at my worst, helping someone else take a step toward their best helps me work through.
Maybe that’s what it takes for you too when you don’t know how to keep going.
- Chip away at your growth mindset.
A growth mindset is the belief that intelligence and other abilities can be improved upon and aren’t fixed.
While studies into the neuroscience behind growth mindset are relatively new, existing studies suggest that those with a growth mindset are more open to corrective feedback². And if you’re willing to take feedback, you’re strengthening your resilience and ability to work through setbacks.
It’s also been demonstrated that a growth mindset has a significant impact on motivation³.
It’s unsurprising that belief in yourself and your ability to adapt helps you maintain motivation and refocus after running into obstacles.
But what do you do if your lack of motivation is either caused by or affected by depression?
How to Keep Going Through Depression
General feelings of frustration, a lack of self-confidence, and even hopelessness are normal to experience when you’re struggling to make a new venture work or transitioning into a new stage of your life.
But depression is a different beast.
If you’re experiencing depression, you could greatly benefit from working with a certified coach and a therapist.
Seeking help to resolve trauma, identify blind spots, and heal is necessary if you’re feeling depressed or anxious.
And if your depression is the result of a major change in your life, time might not be the best thing to count on for healing. Figuring out how to keep going in life oftentimes requires additional support and empowerment beyond your immediate circle.
So if you feel like you’re ready to give up, don’t hesitate to ask for help.
My Experience with Hopelessness
Like many individuals, especially entrepreneurs or professionals in a demanding industry, when things are going well, my stress levels are minimal or non-existent.
I don’t have to think about how to keep going.
But when I’m challenged and my resources seem to be running out, my depression and stress rise exponentially. Even now, as an established professional, events in my personal life occasionally turn my world upside down.
In January 2021, I was diagnosed with the potential of cancer. A diagnosis of stage two cancer followed.
You can imagine what that felt like.
I felt violated, helpless, and as if the world was caving in on me.
It was a long road, but it taught me that circumstances outside of my control are meant to develop my character.
So if you’re feeling hopeless and have no idea how to keep going, ask yourself these questions:
- Why now?
- What is this teaching me?
- Who is this calling me to be?
Answering these questions won’t solve all your problems. But they can help you gain some much-needed perspective and maybe even motivation.
How to Keep Going: You Can Do This
Hardship doesn’t discriminate.
I’ve learned to focus on what’s possible rather than what is, which helps me shift my circumstances. I draw from previous experiences, where my faith enabled me to overcome whatever came my way. I automatically default to visualization and prayer.
This might not be the answer for you.
You have to figure out how to keep going on your own terms.
There’s no straight answer for how to keep going when you feel hopeless, but the ideas in this article can give you a head start.
If you need further encouragement and advice, sign up for my email list and respond to the first email. Yes, it’s really me on the other end. I’m here for you and you can get through this.
Bio – Dr. D Ivan Young is an expert on human behavior and relationships. He’s a Master Credentialed expert on personality type, an ICF credentialed Master Certified Coach, a Certified Professional Diversity Coach, and a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach. Dr. Young is also a member of the prestigious Forbes Coaches Council.