To ever truly love someone you must understand and accept all of who they are. That is easier said than done when you are trying live with someone who has bipolar disorder. This disorder is associated with episodes of mood swings ranging from depressive lows to manic highs that go on and off for weeks or even months at a time. There is no cure for this disorder and it affects 3 million people in the United States alone, from as young as 3 years of age, all the way to 60+.
So how do you live with and love someone whose emotions are constantly unstable?
Educate Yourself
The first of step of living with and loving someone who has bipolar disorder, is understanding what the disorder is and learning everything you can about symptoms and treatment options. It’s important to understand that their disorder is not your fault, or theirs. Although it isn’t curable it is treatable with the correct medications. Every person experiences this disorder differently and the signs aren’t always consistent. If you begin to notice that your loved ones mood or beliefs are shifting radically, pay extra attention to their behavior. Shifts from pleasant moods into depression can be an indicator of being bipolar. Seek knowledge from a doctor or a medical professional if needed and don’t be afraid to ask hard questions.
Know the Limits
Having a loved one who is bipolar can take a toll on everyone, especially their caregiver. It is important to know both their limits and your own. Offer hope for the future and unconditional support. Accept that their recovery will not happen overnight, it will be a process that requires time and patience. Take care of yourself so that you’re able to be there for your loved one when they need you. If you’re not careful, you risk a burnout, a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion. Make sure you get ample sleep and proper nutrition so that you can continue to be there for them.
Ensure That Your Loved Ones Receive Proper Treatment
Encouraging the person you love to seek treatment can be tricky. You want to be sure that your advice is coming from a place of love and concern. Once they’ve decided to go seek treatment, help them by creating a list of questions for their doctor. Preparedness can make all the difference. Track their episodes including date, time, and what happened during their bipolar episode. Attend their first doctors visit with them to let them know they have your support.
Another practice that can be helpful for both the person who has bipolar disorder and their loved ones, is coaching. Whatever you find more comfortable, whether it’s one on one or a support group, speaking with a third party can help you get back to a more normal routine. For the person with the disorder support groups can be especially helpful during recovery. Talking with other people who have had some of the same experiences can help cope with unresolved emotions. As far as mending romantic relationships, seek help from someone who specializes in couples therapy.
Be Prepared
Often times when someone is manic or depressed, they will often have bipolar episodes in which they might act like completely different people. They may begin to make irresponsible decisions, and even become destructive. When there’s a crisis make sure you are prepared. You can be prepared by working on an mutually agreeable plan when your loved one is feeling well. Negotiations such as, retracting keys or credit cards, can be helpful when their symptoms start to get intense. In some cases bipolar disorder can create situations that are quite serious, such as your loved one threatening to take their own life. Do not try and handle this on your own, for immediate help call 9-1-1 and do not leave them alone. Familiarize yourself with their patterns of behavior so that you know what to expect.
Living with and loving someone with bipolar disorder can be hard for everyone involved. Educate yourself on the disease so you know what your loved one is experiencing. Know the limits of both yourself and the person with the disorder so you don’t experience a burn out. Ensure that their disorder doesn’t go untreated and above all else be prepared. It is not your job to diagnose your loved one but you are responsible for offering them support and knowing what to do in case of an emergency.