how to know when it’s time to leave a relationship

Posted on November 27, 2025November 28, 2025 by Dr. D Ivan Young

How to Know When It’s Time to Leave a Relationship

Without Breaking Yourself

by Dr. D Ivan Young, MCC, NBC-HWC

If you’re secretly Googling how to know when it’s time to leave a relationship, you’re not weak—you’re finally getting honest. From the outside, your life may look curated: impressive title, polished brand, beautiful photos. Underneath, however, you might be living with a knot in your stomach that never really goes away.

For high-achievers, the hardest part usually isn’t leaving. The hardest part is admitting that the version of you who built this life is no longer willing to live like this. As a behavioral neuroscience expert and Master Certified Coach, I sit with people who can close eight-figure deals, yet whisper, “I’m terrified of making the wrong move in my own home.” That’s not drama; that’s nervous-system overload. And if we don’t name it, it owns you.

The Private Hell Behind the Polished Public Life

Boardrooms, courtrooms, the OR suites, stages, stadiums and studios reward control. At home, though, that same control often morphs into emotional shutdown, people-pleasing, or quiet rage.

You might wake up next to someone and still feel completely alone. You attend events together, yet move like well-dressed colleagues sharing a schedule, not a life. On paper, everything works. Emotionally, nothing does.

More importantly, the gap between your public image and private reality keeps widening. That gap is where anxiety, insomnia, and burnout set up shop. Ultimately, this is where you start asking the question you’ve avoided for years:

“Is this relationship helping me grow into my highest self or am I betraying myself just to keep up appearances?”

The longer you stay in a misaligned relationship, the more your brain normalizes the dysfunction. That’s neuroscience, not judgment. Your nervous system learns patterns the way your muscles learn a golf swing—through repetition, not intention.

Eventually, chaos can feel familiar while peace feels suspicious. As a result, you may unconsciously recreate what you say you never want again.

Think of your relationship like a company. When the numbers are bleeding red, a smart CEO doesn’t just “hope it gets better.” They pull the reports, face the losses, and make hard decisions. Your emotional life deserves the same level of sober review.

However, many brilliant people never run that audit on their hearts. They just keep funding an emotional business that hasn’t been profitable in years.

How to Know When It’s Time to Leave a Relationship: The Inner Test

There’s no single moment when the universe sends a certified letter saying, “Now you may exit.” Instead, there are patterns—consistent signals that your spirit is already halfway out the door.

Think about the following, with ruthless honesty:

You love your partner, but you no longer feel emotionally safe with them.
You feel calmer when they’re away than when they’re home.
You can’t bring your full truth to the relationship because it always backfires.
You’ve done real work – therapy, coaching, communication, yet the pattern still repeats itself.
You’re staying mostly for optics, obligation, kids, or fear of financial and social fallout.

On the other hand, staying in a relationship where you abandon your own truth is its own kind of divorce – an internal one. You divorce yourself, then wonder why you feel numb.

The Difference Between a Rough Season and a Dead Situation

Every relationship hits turbulence. Conflict alone does not mean it’s time to leave. The question isn’t, “Are we struggling?” The real question is, “Do we still grow when we struggle?”

When a relationship is alive, hard conversations lead to deeper understanding. Boundaries are uncomfortable, yet they produce respect. Repair is possible because both people are willing to change, not just apologize.

When a relationship is functionally over, everything becomes a negotiation of your basic needs. You stop asking for emotional support because it turns into an argument. You censor your joy because it threatens their insecurity. You shrink your future so you don’t have to fight about your calling.

Ultimately, a living relationship stretches you, but it doesn’t erase you. A dead one requires you to bury yourself to keep the peace.

Why High Achievers Stay Stuck So Long

Let’s tell the truth: smart people can stay in painful relationships for decades. Not because they’re foolish, but because their strengths are weaponized against them.

Discipline becomes “I don’t quit, no matter what.”
Loyalty turns into “I’d rather suffer than disappoint anyone.”
Image-consciousness becomes “What will the board, the church, the partners, the kids think?”

Consequently, you start treating your own wellbeing like a side project. You negotiate with your nervous system the way you negotiate contracts: “If I can just hold out until the kids graduate… until the next promotion… until after this deal closes…”

By the time you realize how much it’s costing you, the emotional debt has accrued interest: health issues, resentment, affairs, burnout, sometimes public scandal.

The Airport Analogy: Are You Waiting on a Flight That’s Already Canceled?

Imagine sitting at a gate in an airport. The monitor quietly changes your flight status from “Delayed” to “Canceled,” yet you refuse to move. You stay glued to the chair because you’ve already invested time, money, and energy.

You watch other passengers head to new gates, rebook flights, and adjust, while you stay rooted in denial, staring at a door that will never open.

Relationships work the same way. Once you know, deep down, that this dynamic will not change in any meaningful way, staying becomes a choice – not a sentence. More importantly, your decision stops being about “Are they a bad person?” and becomes “Is this still the right assignment for my life?”

A Reality Check: What Is This Relationship Costing You?

High performers think in terms of cost, risk, and return. Use that same lens here.

Consider the real price you’re paying in:

Cognitive load: How much mental bandwidth do you lose to overthinking every conversation?
Energy: How often do you show up to work emotionally hungover from last night’s argument?
Health: How is your sleep, blood pressure, weight, or immune system responding to chronic stress?
Legacy: What are your children, team, or audience learning about love by watching you?

As a result of staying, you might be modeling that success requires self-abandonment. That’s not just about you; that’s about the blueprint you’re handing the next generation.

Radical Responsibility: Your Part in the Story

This next part is tender but necessary. You may not have created all the damage, yet you did participate in the pattern.

At some point, you overrode your instincts. You explained away red flags. You fell in love with potential and tried to negotiate with reality. You stayed silent to keep the peace.

Taking ownership doesn’t mean shaming yourself. Instead, it means reclaiming your power. If you can admit, “I co-signed this,” you can also say, “I can choose differently now.”

Like any serious leader, you must be willing to call a post-mortem on what went wrong—not to blame, but to learn. Otherwise, you risk rebuilding the same relationship with a different face and a more expensive wedding.

Leaving Without Self-Destructing

Once you realize it may be time to leave, panic often hits. You see spreadsheets—assets, alimony, PR, custody, brand damage. That fear is real; however, decisions made purely from fear are usually expensive.

Instead of an impulsive exit or a years-long limbo, you need a strategic transition. That means:

Getting emotionally regulated before you have major conversations.
Consulting legal and financial professionals early, not after the explosion.
Creating a support system that is discreet, emotionally mature, and not secretly rooting for chaos.
Choosing language with your partner and children that is honest, yet not weaponized.

Ultimately, leaving well is an act of leadership. You are not only ending a chapter; you are modeling how to close a door without burning the entire house down.

The Trapeze Moment: You Can’t Reach for the Next Bar While Clutching the Old One

Picture a trapeze artist mid-air. One bar is behind, one is ahead. There’s a split second where they’re holding both and then that moment when they must release the old bar to fully grab the new one.

Your life after a misaligned relationship works the same way. There’s always a season where you’re tempted to cling to what’s familiar, even though you know it’s over. That’s the most dangerous point, because nostalgia, guilt, and fear are loudest there.

However, no breakthrough happens while you’re clinging to two identities: the one who tolerates misalignment and the one who lives in full integrity. At some point, your future requires a clean yes to yourself and a hard no to the life that’s quietly killing you.

Why Working With a High-Level Coach Changes the Whole Equation

Friends, therapists, and mentors can help. Yet when complex relationships intersect with money, brand, and public visibility, you need guidance that understands all of that terrain.

As an MCC and behavioral neuroscience expert, I don’t just ask, “Are you happy?” I ask:

“What patterns is your nervous system addicted to?”
“How is this relationship reinforcing your earliest attachment wounds?”
“What would a life designed around emotional safety, purpose, and legacy actually look like for you?”

Consequently, our work isn’t simply about leaving or staying. It’s about building a version of you who will never again negotiate your sanity for a photo op, a title, or a familiar hell. Whether you stay and transform the relationship, or leave and redesign your life, the non-negotiable is this: you choose from clarity, not collapse.

When You’re Ready to Stop Performing and Start Living

If you’ve read this far, something in you already knows the truth. Maybe you’re not ready to move yet. Maybe you’re quietly gathering data, doing the math, testing your courage. That’s okay. Awareness always comes before action.

What you cannot afford to do is go back to sleep. You can’t unknow what your body and spirit have already told you.

When you’re ready, reach out to someone who can walk with you through this as strategically as you would handle a major deal—because that’s exactly what it is. Your next season of love, leadership, and impact is the most important transaction of your life.

You’ve spent years building a name, a career, and a platform. Now it’s time to build a relationship life that actually matches your potential.

Not just for the world watching you—but for the person you have to live with when the cameras are off: you.

Dr. D. Ivan Young is a dual-credentialed ICF and EMCC Master Certified Coach and Professional Fellow at the Institute of Coaching, an affiliate of Harvard Medical School. He integrates behavioral neuroscience, emotional intelligence, and systems thinking to support complex relationship, career, and leadership decisions for high-net-worth individuals, licensed professionals, and senior leaders. Author of the original bestseller, Break Up, Don’t Break Down , with the newly released Break Up – Don’t Break Down Expanded Edition

Is This Love or a Trauma Bond Loop

Posted on November 15, 2025November 15, 2025 by Dr. D Ivan Young

Is This Love or a Trauma Bond Loop

by Dr. D Ivan Young, MCC, NBC-HWC

“Why can’t I leave when I know better?

You are the one everyone else leans on. Day after day, you lead teams, build businesses, and carry an invisible weight of responsibility that most people will never understand. At least in public, you are the very definition of composed, gracious, and decisive.

Yet, behind closed doors, you find yourself walking on eggshells, bracing for that next emotional impact. Over time, you’ve learned to call that knot in your stomach “chemistry,” mistaking the tension for passion.

Consider this truth that can set you free: Healthy love settles you; it doesn’t spin you out. Fundamentally, it’s the calm after the storm, not the storm itself. It brings profound clarity after conflict and, eventually, makes your world feel bigger, full of more choices.

Conversely, a trauma bond does the exact opposite. It’s a devastating cycle that masterfully mixes fear with intermittent relief, blending agonizing distance with desperate pursuit, and crushing silence with sudden, intoxicating warmth. As a result, your body and brain become addicted to this pattern, learning to chase the short-lived high of reconciliation after the long, painful low of uncertainty.

So, if you have ever looked in the mirror and asked yourself, “Why can’t I leave when I know better?,” then this article is for you.

Specifically, I’m here to translate the complex science of attachment and trauma into plain, human language. Furthermore, I will give you a clear plan you can use today.

Ultimately, by the end of this read, you will have your answer to the agonizing question, “Is this love or a trauma bond?” But more importantly, you will have a dignified path toward a steadier, more peaceful future—one where you no longer have to risk your dignity, your platform, or your peace of mind.

Body On Permanent High Alert

Here is the fundamental distinction:

Healthy love, even when intense, quiets your inner world. It builds a baseline of repair and trust. The effect is that your nervous system stands down, granting you the clarity to plan, sleep, and speak without rehearsing every outcome.

A trauma bond activates your nervous system. It’s a slot machine of intermittent reinforcement—mixing addictive dopamine spikes (from relief) with floods of cortisol (from conflict). This cycle forces you to work harder not for love, but for the next dose of relief.

This chemical cocktail feels deep, but herein lies the insight: Depth without safety is not intimacy. It is survival.

Why does this chaos feel so compelling? If your childhood was chaotic, your brain was wired to mistake this high-stakes urgency for love.

The goal isn’t to pathologize your heart, but to give your nervous system a steadier map. When calm becomes your compass, you stop mistaking the noise of chaos for the music of passion. You finally measure love by one standard: how well it lets you breathe.

Mirrors Do Not Judge; They Only Reveal.

In public, you are the picture of composure and grace. You lead, you build, you hold it all together, carrying an invisible weight of responsibility that most people will never understand.

But in private, there’s that familiar knot in your stomach. You find yourself walking on eggshells, bracing for that next emotional impact, and you’ve learned to call that visceral, anxious tension “chemistry” or “passion.”

Here is a quiet, powerful truth: Healthy love, true love, settles you. It doesn’t spin you out in a constant state of chaos. It’s the calm after the storm, not the storm itself. It brings a profound, grounding clarity after a disagreement, and it makes your world feel bigger, full of more choices, not fewer.

A trauma bond is the exact opposite. It’s a devastating and exhausting cycle, a cruel rhythm of fear mixed with sudden, intoxicating relief. It’s the agonizing distance followed by a desperate pursuit. Your body and brain, in a brilliant attempt to survive, learn to crave that short-lived high of reconciliation, a small sip of “love” after a long, painful drought.

If you have ever looked in the mirror, your mind sharp and your heart aching, and asked yourself that one, shattering question—“Why can’t I leave when I know better?”—this is for you.

Together, we will gently untangle that question: “Is this love, or is this a trauma bond?” You will get more than just an answer; you will get a clear, dignified plan to find your way back to yourself, toward a future that doesn’t demand you sacrifice your platform, your dignity, or your peace of mind.

Why Leaving Can Feel Worse Before It Feels Better

When you finally interrupt the cycle of intermittent reinforcement, your brain, starved of its chemical spikes, will panic. The first stretch of quiet won’t feel like a sunrise; it will feel like a flat line. It will feel profoundly wrong.

You will immediately find yourself bargaining, telling yourself the dizzying intensity was proof of depth, that such “rare chemistry” must justify the unbearable cost.

Here is the core insight: This is an emotional detox, not a failure of love. Your body is stepping down from an unsustainable cycle. The critical distinction you must make is this: You are not withdrawing from the person; you are withdrawing from the pattern. That reframes everything.

Expect the bargaining. Expect sleep to wobble. Expect fond memories to arrive dressed as “evidence” to make you return. Treat these signals as weather, not commands.

If you perform under pressure, this new quiet will feel like a threat. You must reframe it. The cause of this “boredom” is not a lack of passion; the effect is your bandwidth returning.

Hold firm boundaries, and you will feel your baseline begin to rise. Humor returns. Silence becomes restful, not threatening. This is the unmistakable feeling of your nervous system healing—the proof that you are moving from survival back to connection.

The 72-hour Nervous-System Reset

You cannot make a clear choice while your nervous system is flooded. When you are in that state, you are not choosing at all; you are surviving.

So, let’s give your body and mind seventy-two hours of structured steadiness. This is not a forever plan; it is a three-day reset to bring you back to yourself.

Day 1: Create a Sanctuary

Your only goal today is to lower the emotional temperature.

Pause Contact. Unless safety or co-parenting requires it, go quiet. This isn’t a punishment; it’s an act of preservation.
Nourish Your Body. It has been running on adrenaline. Eat real meals. Drink water. Go for a brisk, 20-minute walk to physically move the cortisol out of your system.
Reset Your Breath. Twice today, for five minutes each time, practice “box breathing”: a slow four-count inhale, four-count hold, four-count exhale, and four-count hold. This is a manual override for your body’s panic switch.
Journal in the Second Person. For just ten minutes, write “You feel…” or “You notice…” This creates a small, safe distance from the overwhelming feelings. When you’re done, close the book. Resist the urge to analyze.
Hold a Media Fast. Do not scroll through old photos or social media. Do not listen to “your” songs. Today, you are not to intentionally reopen the wound.

Day 2: Map the Loop

With a slightly calmer mind, it’s time to make the invisible pattern visible.

Get Out a Pen and Paper. Write down what happens right before you feel that desperate need to reach out. Then, write what happens just after you reconnect.
Identify the Cycle. Be brutally honest. Circle the moments of relief. Underline the moments of fear or anxiety.
Name the Reward. What is the specific “prize” you are chasing in this loop? Is it an apology? Their attention? A brief return to “normal”? Simple predictability? Name it.
Ask for an Anchor. Contact one trusted person. Ask them to check in with you tonight with a single, simple text: “Did you keep your boundary for today?” Accountability is a powerful anchor against the storm.

Day 3: Set Your Compass

Today, you begin to reclaim your power by making a conscious choice.

Set One Boundary and One Rule. Make them measurable. For example: A boundary might be, “I will not participate in heavy, emotional text conversations after 8 p.m.” A rule might be, “If voices are raised, I will pause the conversation until we can speak calmly, with a third party if needed.”
Choose a 90-Day Path. From this steadier place, look at the near future. You have two primary paths: Structured Repair or Supported Release. Neither is right or wrong, but both deserve a real plan, clear milestones, and outside feedback (from a therapist, coach, or support group).

Think of this three-day reset as an emotional palate cleanser. It’s designed to help you, perhaps for the first time in a long time, taste the truth of your situation without the overpowering spice of panic.

If you choose to leave

First, let’s be clear: leaving isn’t quitting on love. Instead, it is quitting the toxic conditions that made love impossible. It is the choice to create an environment where love can finally live.

If children are involved, consequently, your communication must become a firewall: Brief, Informative, Neutral, and Kind. Of course, your grief will come in waves, so you must calendar space for it. Similarly, you must protect your digital mind. Late-night scrolling isn’t nostalgia; rather, it’s the cause that re-ignites the reward system you’re trying to calm. Therefore, you must replace those habits with regulating anchors.

You will fear that leaving is the choice that breaks your future.

Here is the truth: The loop was always the one breaking it. That devastating cycle was the cause of a silent, daily tax on your ambition, your focus, and your creativity.

When you leave, the initial absence of drama will feel unfamiliar. But soon, you will recognize its true effect: This is capacity. It is the return of your energy, your clarity, and your Self. Ultimately, that new capacity is the fertile soil where healthy love can finally grow.

Where To Go Next

If this article felt less like reading and more like being seen, then that powerful recognition is your invitation to begin. First, the 72-hour reset isn’t a mechanical step; it’s your act of reclaiming your own quiet center. Consequently, from that sacred, clearer space, you can consciously choose your next chapter: structured repair or supported release.

While both paths are courageous, you don’t have to walk them alone. Break Up Don’t Break Down can be a wise companion, or we can build a sustainable plan together, especially if your public role adds pressure.

Above all, please take this in: You did not fail at love, you fell into a pattern. You perfected a survival script that, long ago, kept you safe. But now, that shield has become a cage, costing you your peace. You are not broken, you are unfurling. You are simply in the brave process of learning a new way to love, one your future can actually bear.

This is the moment your compass finds true north. Because when calm is your guide, love finally stops feeling like a debt and starts feeling like home. It’s time to step into the love you have always deserved.

About The Author

Dr. D. Ivan Young, MCC, is an ICF Master Certified Coach and behavioral neuroscience expert known for translating complex science into practical tools for leaders navigating high-stakes relationships. A frequent media expert and TEDx speaker, his clients include C-suite executives, founders, and public figures. He is the author of Break Up Don’t Break Down – Expanded Edition. Dr. Young’s practice integrates neuroscience and psychology to help high-performers build calm, decisive, and durable lives.

How to Have a Healthy Romantic Relationship – Even with a Difficult Past

Posted on November 6, 2023November 8, 2023 by Dr. D Ivan Young

by Dr. D Ivan Young, ICF Master Certified Coach

What does a healthy romantic relationship look like?

The work required to form and maintain a healthy romantic relationship is not as easy – or quick –- as movies and TV shows make it seem.

Have you tried putting two random things together? You’re two people, with different experiences, beliefs, backgrounds, and personalities. You can’t expect cohesion right away.

It’s crucial to establish a solid foundation if you want a healthy, lasting relationship.

A healthy romantic relationship revolves around mutual respect, tolerance, and acceptance. You must commit to improving yourself. Then you can learn to work through challenges together.

Why Should You Take My Advice?

Over the last two decades, I’ve coached many couples in navigating their individual and collective issues.

There’s one constant I’ve noticed. Those who find success in love are the ones who are willing to humble themselves and put their egos aside. They invest their time and resources into the relationship.

Mature love is a difficult choice that must be made repeatedly, moment by moment, day in and day out.

As a Master Certified Coach and relationship expert, I’ve seen relationships built on infatuation and physical attraction fall apart as quickly as they begin. Physical attraction is essential for relationship health. But much more is required to form a healthy romantic relationship that lasts.

The definition of a healthy romantic relationship might vary slightly. But there are characteristics and skills that can help you measure your relationship competence.

But first, why are healthy romantic relationships, and relationships in general, so important?

The Importance of Healthy Relationships

It’s a fact that social relationships impact our physical and mental well-being.

Healthy social ties have been linked to more positive health behaviors. They also contribute to improved psychological well-being and better physical health¹. A lot of factors influence health and well-being, but relationships are particularly essential.

Healthy romantic relationship functioning has been linked to:

Healthier decision-making for both men and women².

Greater relationship satisfaction and a higher sense of security.

Emotional/mental well-being – including reduced depression and anxiety symptoms.

Good physical health and longevity³.

If you’re married or in a long-term committed partnership, relationship problems can undermine your health.

Poor relationship health can manifest in many different ways.

Stress that leads to physiological responses that grind down your body’s systems. Examples are high blood pressure and increased heart rate.

Attempts to reduce stress through unhealthy coping habits, like drinking or smoking.

Depression or anxiety from consistent conflict in the relationship.

The key is to form healthy romantic relationships and friendships. You shouldn’t avoid relationships completely.

So what’s the definition of a healthy romantic relationship?

Skills for a Healthy Romantic Relationship

You probably have an idea of what a healthy romantic relationship includes.

There are certain characteristics that stand out such as:

Trust.
Communication.
Support and respect.

A healthy romantic relationship can slightly differ from one couple to the next. However, these skills and traits are undeniably important for a healthy, happy relationship.

Let’s break these down.

Trust in a Healthy Romantic Relationship

You get to decide what your boundaries are, individually and collectively. This is why trust might look different for everyone.

Building a solid foundation with trust requires discussing your needs, values, and expectations.

Trust is often developed over time. It can be difficult to trust someone, especially if you’ve had damaging experiences.

It’s well-known that unhealthy relationships throughout childhood and adolescence, especially with primary caregivers, can impact one’s ability to form and maintain healthy relationships⁴.

But it’s something you can work on if this is the case for you.

Some ways to develop trust in your relationship include:

Doing what you say you’ll do.
Being there for each other, especially during challenging times.
Resolving any trust and attachment issues by getting help from a qualified professional.
Keeping the lines of communication open.
Maintaining your commitments regardless of your feelings at a given moment in time.

Respectful communication is one of the most essential requirements for a healthy relationship.

Stable Communication

Communication in a healthy romantic relationship will differ depending on your communication styles.

However, there are the usual signs that communication between you and your partner is healthy.

Effective communication usually involves:

Listening to what the other person is saying and trying to understand.
Avoiding derogatory or harmful language or gestures.
Trying to work toward the best solution for both parties, instead of focusing on who’s right or wrong.
Expressing forgiveness and not holding grudges.
Practicing empathy and compassion toward your partner, during and after a disagreement.
Acknowledging your role in the disagreement.

And when you can’t agree, make it your mission to respect and honor your partner’s perspective.

If verbal or physical abuse are involved, you should seek help. These are not characteristics of a healthy relationship.

Respectful communication is one way of supporting your partner and strengthening your relationship.

Support and Respect in a Healthy Romantic Relationship

Trust and communication are two building blocks of support and mutual respect.

You’re setting your relationship up for success if:

You’re willing to listen to each other.
You show empathy even when you disagree.
You show up for each other.

You can show up in your relationship in many different ways to support and respect your partner.

Maybe you take on extra chores when your partner is going through a difficult time.

Or you check in with each other weekly about your goals, needs, and what you want to improve.

It can look like being intentional about spending quality time together every day.

Maintaining a healthy romantic relationship is hard work. It’s crucial to be honest with each other and work together if you want it to last. And you have to be clear on what you want before you expect someone else to give it to you.

Setting Healthy Romantic Relationship Expectations

What happens when your checked boxes result in empty containers?

If your laundry list of expectations is superficial, this is likely to happen.

So if one of your goals is to establish a healthy romantic relationship, there are a few things you should get clear on beforehand.

Values and beliefs.
Personal and professional aspirations.
Your ideal lifestyle.
Financial expectations and contributions to the relationship.

While these can change over time, they’re essential to keep in mind as you search for a life partner. Knowing your non-negotiables and goals can save you a lot of time, energy, and pain.

How I Can Help You Solidify Your Relationships as an ICF Master Certified Coach

As I work with clients in my practice, we explore five key areas to ensure you’re prepared to be a productive partner.

Personality type.
Family history.
Core and cultural values.
Validation systems.
Psychological triggers.

But this is only the beginning.

I usually discuss these details with my clients within the first 90 to 120 days of working together.

There are two reasons for this.

How can you address something you aren’t aware of?
When we address these details, I can make sure my opinions and preferences don’t lead the way.

Not addressing these things would be like going to the gym and only working on the parts of your body that you like. You must perfect things that you do well, but you also have to identify what needs your attention.

So if you’re struggling to form healthy relationships, book a call with me. Also reach out if you’re in a relationship and you need help strengthening your connection.

Contact Dr. D. Ivan Young

There’s no amount of dinners or romantic getaways that can solve your problems for you.

If you and your partner commit to the work, you have the potential for a healthy romantic relationship that withstands life’s many challenges.

Bio – Dr. D Ivan Young is an expert on human behavior and relationships. He’s a Master Credentialed expert on personality type, an ICF credentialed Master Certified Coach, a Certified Professional Diversity Coach, and a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach. Dr. Young is also a member of the prestigious Forbes Coaches Council.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epdf/10.1177/0022146510383501?src=getftr

https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Shaina-Kumar/publication/313406102_Romantic_competence_healthy_relationship_functioning_and_well-being_in_emerging_adults_Romantic_competence/links/5c1bb500299bf12be38d2209/Romantic-competence-healthy-relationship-functioning-and-well-being-in-emerging-adults-Romantic-competence.pdf

https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Kurt-Hahlweg/publication/46123953_Assisting_couples_to_develop_healthy_relationships_Effects_of_couples_relationship_education_on_cortisol/links/6050aa58299bf1736748ea2b/Assisting-couples-to-develop-healthy-relationships-Effects-of-couples-relationship-education-on-cortisol.pdf

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S014521342100301X

Can Couples Therapy Save your Marriage

Posted on February 28, 2018October 24, 2018 by Dr. D Ivan Young

If you are struggling to achieve balance and clarity in the relationships in your life, it may be time to seek out a relationship expert. In couples therapy, a qualified, compassionate professional can help you pinpoint and resolve the issues that are creating conflict between you and your partner.

Whether it takes the form of premarital counseling, marriage counseling, couples therapy or LGBTQ relationship counseling, professional guidance can be essential to the process of helping couples reconnect with one another. An experienced counselor can help you and your partner engage in more honest dialogue with one another by practicing communication that is rooted in mutual trust and respect. It is this type of environment that is at the core of effective couples therapy.

A therapist who specializes in the subject of Myers Briggs personality types will be able to accurately determine the personality type of each individual. Using that knowledge, the therapist will then be able to instruct you as to how to communicate with one another best.

During couples therapy, the therapist will use the personality profiles to guide and instruct each person regarding methods to better communicate with their partner. This results in a better understanding of how your partner expresses him or herself, and how he or she prefers to communicate with you. This insight gained in couples’ therapy will help you create a more meaningful and impactful dialogue between you and your partner.

It is vital that couples also consider how their behavior will impact their children. For many, reconciliation through couples’ therapy means they get their family back. Divorce is very hard on children who are torn between the love of two parents, often suffering the following fates:

They are forced to divide their time between the two people they love the most.
Children of single parents are more likely to have emotional and behavioral problems.
Children of divorced parents are more likely to be sexually active at a younger age.
Often children of divorced parents are in financial dire.

According to a 2014 National Health Statistics report from CDC, “Children living with one biological parent were between 3 and 8 times as likely as children living with two biological parents to have experienced neighborhood violence, caregiver violence, or caregiver incarceration or to have lived with a caregiver with mental illness or an alcohol or drug problem.”

There are many things that couples can do to revive, revamp and reignite their marriage. It all starts with knowing how to communicate with your partner. The strength and stamina of a relationship are built on strong foundations of mutual trust and respect. If you need to rebuild that foundation or regain trust, couples therapy can help. Do you want to understand your partner better? Therapists who specialize in Myers Briggs personality types can change the way you relate to your partner. Helping you to understand them better.

If you feel your marriage is in trouble, don’t hesitate to seek help. In couples therapy, you can discover constructive ways to voice your concerns and the significance of supporting each other.