Tag: Dr. D Ivan Young

doomscrolling and psychological safety threats

doomscrolling and psychological safety threats

Posted on by Dr. D Ivan Young
Picture of sign with Your Algorithm is my prison be held up by one visible hand.Doomscrolling – Protecting Psychological Safety article by Dr. D Ivan Young

Doomscrolling – Protecting Psychological Safety

by Dr. D Ivan Young, MCC, NBC-HWC

Why Stress Feels Different Now

We all know stress is part of life, but the stress we’re carrying right now feels heavier, sharper, and harder to shake. According to the American Psychiatric Association, 43% of adults reported feeling more anxious in 2024 than the year before, with the economy, politics, and public safety topping the list. Globally, Gallup’s State of Emotions Report shows that stress and worry remain stubbornly high. For executives, the rise of digital overload has made Doomscrolling and Protecting Psychological Safety one of the most pressing challenges of modern leadership.

As an executive coach and expert in behavioral neuroscience, I hear this every day from CEOs, physicians, attorneys, and entrepreneurs. They aren’t just tired; they’re on edge. They’re leading companies, running households, and trying to keep it together in a world that feels increasingly out of control. And here’s the truth: when an executive is overwhelmed, the stress doesn’t stay locked inside. It spreads—into their leadership, their culture, and even into their families.

When Recognition Feels Like Betrayal

One of the most overlooked drivers of stress today isn’t just inflation or deadlines. It is what we see celebrated in the public square. Recently, a political leader chose to elevate a figure long associated with divisive and supremacist rhetoric, even suggesting a national holiday and ordering flags lowered on federal buildings. At the very same time, true acts of sacrifice and service were left in the shadows. Leaders like Minnesota House Speaker Melissa Hortman, who gave her life advancing policies that brought people together, went unnoticed. The children who perished in floods, the fallen service members who defended this country, and the Capitol Police officers who died protecting democracy received no such tribute.

Moments like this inflict what psychologists call moral injury. Unlike ordinary stress, moral injury arises when core values such as truth, fairness, loyalty, and courage are betrayed by those entrusted with leadership. It leaves people feeling invisible, devalued, and abandoned. Neuroscience shows the body interprets betrayal as threat. The amygdala fires, cortisol surges, and the nervous system braces for conflict. Over time, these repeated violations not only drain resilience but erode trust in institutions and weaken the social fabric.

That is why so many executives tell me, “I feel like I’m constantly under attack.” It is not only stress; it is cultural conditioning. Doomscrolling – Protecting Psychological Safety in the Age of Noise captures this cycle perfectly. We are glued to negativity, while the sacrifices that should unite us are buried beneath the noise.

The Hidden Price of Stress on Leaders

In more than twenty years of practice, I’ve seen what stress does to leaders when it goes unchecked. Chronic stress keeps the HPA axis—the body’s stress response system—locked in overdrive. That leads to:

  • Foggy decision-making

  • Irritability and short tempers

  • Physical exhaustion and sleep problems

  • Teams that mirror their leader’s anxiety

I once had a client, a highly respected attorney, who told me, “I feel like I’m fighting fires every day, even when nothing is burning.” That’s exactly how stress hijacks the brain. When leaders operate from this place, they unintentionally spread fear instead of confidence, and their teams feel it immediately.

This is why leaders cannot ignore Doomscrolling – Protecting Psychological Safety in the Age of Noise. It’s not just about avoiding distraction; it’s about protecting the very foundation of trust and resilience in organizations.

Coaching as the Antidote: Evidence Meets Neuroscience

The good news? Stress doesn’t have to define us. Evidence-based coaching, grounded in neuroscience, gives leaders tools to reset their nervous systems and reclaim their focus.

1. Dialectical Behavior Techniques (DBT)

DBT helps executives balance logic and emotion. One of my clients, a CEO preparing to deliver bad news to shareholders, used a DBT grounding exercise: naming five things she could see, four things she could touch, three things she could hear. In minutes, her nervous system shifted, allowing her to speak with calm authority instead of panic.

2. Transtheoretical Model (TTM)

TTM reminds us that change happens in stages. Leaders who understand this stop labeling resistance as laziness. When I was guiding a hospital executive through a digital transformation, he realized his most resistant staff weren’t saboteurs—they were in the contemplation stage. With that awareness, he adjusted his leadership style, and within months, those same employees became champions of change.

3. Positive Intelligence (PQ)

PQ identifies the “saboteurs” in our minds—voices of fear, doubt, and control—and teaches us to strengthen our Sage mind: curiosity, empathy, and creativity. I’ve used this myself. As my practice expanded globally, I caught my “hyper-achiever saboteur” pushing me toward burnout. PQ training helped me step back, breathe, and lead from clarity instead of compulsion.

Metaphorically, coaching is like upgrading from an old smoke detector that screeches at burnt toast to a finely tuned system that only responds to real fire. Leaders learn to tell the difference between true emergencies and noise.

From Doomscrolling to Discipline

Executives are not immune to doomscrolling. In fact, they often justify it as “staying informed.” But research shows doomscrolling only fuels existential anxiety and drains work engagement.

That’s why I teach my clients the News Diet 3-2-1:

  • Three scheduled news check-ins a day

  • Two reputable sources only

  • One long-form article for depth

When they follow this, their stress drops, their focus sharpens, and their leadership presence grows. Setting boundaries around information intake is one of the most powerful ways to live out Doomscrolling – Protecting Psychological Safety in the Age of Noise instead of being consumed by it.

The Weight of Financial Anxiety

The Associated Press reports that most Americans list grocery prices as a major stressor, with nearly half calling it a serious problem. Even executives—who many assume are insulated from money worries—feel the weight differently. Their anxiety is about keeping payroll, protecting shareholders, and sustaining growth during uncertainty.

I’ve coached more than one executive who admitted privately, “I can handle stress in the boardroom, but when I sit at the kitchen table and look at our expenses, I feel powerless.”

That’s why I endorse strategies like the Cashflow Clarity Sprint. In just 20 minutes, leaders map out expenses, identify one controllable lever, and act on it. Neuroscience shows this small act of agency lowers cortisol and restores problem-solving capacity.

Climate Anxiety: A Silent Burden

Beyond politics and economics, climate anxiety is surging. Younger employees in particular want to know where their organizations stand. As leaders, ignoring this isn’t neutral—it creates disconnection.

I tell my clients: climate anxiety is like carrying a heavy backpack uphill. Every step is harder until you start unpacking it, one value-driven action at a time. That action may be small, like launching a sustainability initiative or backing community projects, but it transforms fear into purpose.

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Stress Doesn’t Stay at the Office

“Anxiety and stress doesn’t end when the workday does—it follows leaders home. When leaders carry it through the door, it spreads into their relationships. Presence requires intention, not proximity.” Dr. D Ivan Young, MCC, NBC-HWC

When the nervous system is overstimulated, patience fades and presence disappears.

I know this firsthand. Early in my career, before I mastered these methods, I carried stress through the door every night. Even though I was physically home, I wasn’t fully present with the people truly cared about me.

What changed everything was learning a simple practice of mindful transition—five minutes of reflection before walking inside. That small shift gave me back my family time and strengthened the relationships that mattered most.

Here are tools I now give my clients:

  • Mindful Transitions: Leave work at work with a brief reflection ritual.

  • Relationship Debriefs: Weekly check-ins with partners, applying TTM to revisit commitments.

  • Sleep Anchors: Fixed wake times, light exposure in the morning, and body scans at night to reset the nervous system.

These practices don’t just protect personal relationships, they make leaders more effective at work too. In fact, they are essential in the practice of psychological safety because they anchor leaders in stability when the outside world is unstable.

Why Organizations Must Care

Unmanaged executive stress is never limited to the individual. It seeps into the culture, erodes trust, and silently drains organizations through absenteeism, turnover, and disengagement. The financial losses can be measured, but the greater cost is the breakdown of confidence between leaders and the people who depend on them.

When companies commit to evidence-based coaching, they are not simply investing in executives. They are fortifying the entire system by cultivating stability, resilience, and psychological safety. In a world defined by noise and volatility, the ability to protect human potential becomes the ultimate competitive advantage.

Conclusion: Leadership as Nervous System Regulation

Stress is not weakness. Stress is data. But if leaders don’t learn how to read that data, it turns destructive.

Profit-driven media may thrive on outrage, and politics may reward division, but executives don’t have to absorb that chaos. By applying DBT, TTM, and PQ, leaders can regulate their nervous systems, strengthen their teams, and create organizations that thrive in uncertainty.

Leadership today isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about being the tuning fork, the one that sets the tone so that clarity and stability resonate through the noise. That is how leaders protect themselves, their teams, and their families from the toxic cycle of Doomscrolling – Protecting Psychological Safety in the Age of Noise.

And I know this works. I’ve seen it in global boardrooms, in medical practices, in law firms, and in my own life. When leaders learn to regulate themselves, they don’t just survive the noise, they rise above it.

Dr. D Ivan Young, MCC, in Blue Suite with Arms folded. How I Turned My Problems Into a Million-Dollar Coaching Brand

Dr. D. Ivan Young, MCC, NBC-HWC, CPDC is a globally recognized thought leader in behavioral neuroscience and executive coaching. An ICF Master Certified Coach, National Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and Certified Professional Diversity Coach, he helps leaders and organizations navigate stress, build emotional intelligence, and foster psychological safety. His TEDx talks have reached millions worldwide, and his work is known for translating complex science into practical strategies for sustainable leadership.

Genuine Connection: The Most Underrated Asset in Corporate Leadership

Genuine Connection: The Most Underrated Asset in Corporate Leadership

Posted on by Dr. D Ivan Young
Image of professionals working together smiling sitting and standing looking at computer. Genuine Connection: The Most Underrated Asset in Corporate Leadership

Genuine Connection: The Most Underrated Asset in Corporate Leadership

By Dr. D Ivan Young, MCC, NBC-HWC

Forget the next productivity hack; the ultimate competitive advantage isn’t in a dashboard but in the genuine connection that effective leaders establish with their teams. In a performance-focused world where data dashboards, KPIs, and bottom lines dominate boardroom discussions, it’s clear that authentic connection is the most undervalued asset in corporate leadership.  

This is not connection for connection’s sake, nor the superficial bonding that happens in corporate retreats or scripted check-ins. It is the real, embodied presence that silently shapes the outcome of every meeting, strategy, and merger -where leaders aren’t just heard, but felt.  Where people don’t just show up to work, but show up for each other.

Why Connection Isn’t Soft

Admittedly, many leaders believe that “soft skills” are optional, or worse, distractions from productivity. However, the irony is that the so-called “soft stuff” is what actually holds everything together. Much like the mortar between bricks, genuine connection binds the structural elements of a workplace vision, performance, accountability, and transforms them into a cohesive, sustainable system culture.

When I coach executives across industries and continents, the refrain is often the same: “Our people are burned out.” Or, “They’re disengaged.” In response, companies tend to double down on structure, new policies, more meetings, tighter KPIs.

Yet here’s the rub: burnout isn’t cured by bullet points and bonuses. Disengagement doesn’t dissolve with dashboards or distractions.

According to a 2022 study by Gallup, only 32% of employees in the U.S. felt engaged in their work, and the leading driver of disengagement wasn’t compensation or workload, it was a lack of meaningful relationships at work. When genuine connection is missing, culture becomes hollow.

This is where connection steps in—not as sentiment, but as strategy.

The Science of Being Seen

From a behavioral neuroscience perspective, humans are biologically wired for connection. The limbic system, the emotional brain, processes social cues faster than rational thought. Simply put, we respond to how someone makes us feel long before we assess what they actually said.

Leaders who create emotionally safe environments spark the release of oxytocin (the “trust hormone”) and reduce cortisol (the “stress hormone”). This biological shift enhances psychological safety, promotes creativity, and increases retention. Research from Google’s Project Aristotle affirmed this, revealing that psychological safety was the number one factor distinguishing high-performing teams from the rest.

Despite this, many leaders have been conditioned to value control over connection, competence over compassion. As a result, they inadvertently cultivate teams that are fluent in self-censorship rather than authentic collaboration.

Connection Is Not the Opposite of Performance—It Is Its Precondition

To clarify, advocating for genuine connection does not mean abandoning performance metrics. Rather, it means recognizing that human connection is what enables those metrics to be achieved sustainably. In truth, connection is the engine beneath the strategy.

Imagine trying to row a boat with a crew that doesn’t trust each other. They may all be physically strong, but if they’re out of sync, competing for control, or too afraid to speak up – progress stalls. Now, picture that same crew connected by trust, clear communication, and shared purpose. The rhythm changes. The speed accelerates. The effort feels lighter.

This metaphor mirrors what happens in organizations where genuine connection becomes a leadership priority. Presence replaces posturing. Collaboration overtakes competition. And as a result, performance becomes a byproduct, not a burden.

Presence: The Invisible Leadership Skill

Presence isn’t about charisma. It’s not about having the loudest voice in the room or commanding attention with bravado. Instead, presence is a form of emotional connection; it’s how people feel when they’re around you.

It’s also a form of regulation. A leader who can stay emotionally steady amid pressure provides a kind of internal compass for their team. This is what Harvard Business Review refers to as “resonant leadership,” where leaders manage their own emotional states to positively influence team dynamics.

When I work with senior executives—CFOs, general counsels, directors of operations—it’s often this subtle skill that changes everything. They begin to understand that leadership isn’t about being the smartest person in the room. It’s about becoming the safest one.

Culture Lives in the In-Between

Culture doesn’t exist in the values statement framed in the lobby. It isn’t confined to the company offsite or the DEI training module. Rather, culture lives in the micro-interactions – the in-between moments:

  • How a leader responds when someone pushes back.

  • Whether mistakes are met with curiosity or criticism.

  • If feedback is a two-way conversation or a performance review checkbox.

These subtle moments shape perception. And over time, perception becomes culture.

To illustrate, think of culture like a garden. Strategy is the soil, talent is the seed, but connection is the water. Without consistent watering, those everyday relational cues, growth is stunted. No amount of soil preparation or high-performing seeds can compensate for neglect.

The Corporate Case for Humanity

Let’s be clear: organizations that prioritize genuine connection don’t just feel better to work in, they perform better. According to a study published by McKinsey & Company, companies with strong team connection and psychological safety outperform their competitors by up to 27% in profitability.

In other words, connection isn’t just beneficial for morale—it also boosts the bottom line. Moreover, the Edelman Trust Barometer consistently reports that employees trust their employer more than NGOs, the media, or even government. This gives significant power and responsibility to corporate leaders. When trust is built through genuine connection, it not only increases employee loyalty but also strengthens organizational resilience.

The Hidden Cost of Disconnection

Let’s flip the lens for a moment. What’s the cost of not prioritizing connection?

  • High turnover.

  • Low psychological safety.

  • Diminished innovation.

  • Chronic miscommunication.

It’s a slow drip of dysfunction that, over time, corrodes productivity and morale. Without genuine connection, teams become transactional. Leaders become reactive. Burnout becomes normalized.

It’s not that the strategy was wrong—it’s that the emotional foundation couldn’t hold the weight of its execution.

Rehumanizing Leadership: A Global Imperative

At a time when global uncertainty, AI-driven change, and remote work are reshaping the future of business, leaders have a choice. They can cling to outdated models of command-and-control, or they can evolve, leading from the inside out.

To put it plainly: If leadership is a flame, connection is the oxygen. Without it, the fire burns out.

Metaphorically speaking, organizational vitality is less like a machine and more like an ecosystem. Every voice, every choice, every interaction either nurtures or depletes the system. Leaders who recognize this shift their approach from engineering performance to cultivating presence.

As the renowned author and psychologist Dr. Brené Brown once said, “Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.” This isn’t just a truth for individuals—it’s a blueprint for organizations. Or as I tell my clients, “if you put profit and performance before people – your days are numbered!”

So, What Does This Mean for Leaders?

To become truly effective, leaders must:

  • Listen beyond words—pay attention to tone, body language, and silence.

  • Practice self-regulation—your nervous system becomes the climate of your team.

  • Model vulnerability—courageously go first in honesty and emotional transparency.

  • Create consistent rituals of connection—daily check-ins, feedback loops, and reflection spaces.

The shift is subtle but seismic. And it’s not about doing more – it’s about being more.

Final Reflection

The future of leadership belongs to those who can translate emotional resonance into cultural architecture.

Genuine connection isn’t a leadership style – it’s a leadership stance. It’s a commitment to showing up with presence, to creating environments where trust is not earned by perfection but by consistency, safety, and care.

As you consider the next evolution of your leadership, ask yourself: What would it look like if connection wasn’t just a strategy, but your starting point?

Because before any company scales, before any mission accelerates, its people must feel safe enough to be authentic, grow and develop.

References:

  1. Gallup (2022). State of the Global Workplace Report. https://www.gallup.com/workplace/349484/state-of-the-global-workplace-2022.aspx

  2. Google (2016). Project Aristotle: Understanding team effectiveness. https://rework.withgoogle.com/print/guides/5721312655835136/

  3. McKinsey & Company (2020). Psychological safety and the critical role of leadership development. https://www.mckinsey.com/capabilities/people-and-organizational-performance/our-insights/the-organization-blog/psychological-safety-and-the-critical-role-of-leadership-development

Picture of Dr. D Ivan Young, MCC, NBC-HWC | ICF Registered Mentor Coach

Dr. D. Ivan Young, MCC is a globally recognized executive coach and expert in behavioral neuroscience, emotional intelligence, and leadership psychology. A TEDx speaker and Professional Fellow at the Institute of Coaching, McLean (a Harvard Medical School affiliate), Dr. Young helps leaders and teams build psychologically safe, emotionally intelligent cultures rooted in authentic connection and presence. His work blends research-driven insight with lived experience to foster sustainable performance and transformative growth.

The Cost of Your Prayers Being Answered

The Cost of Your Prayers Being Answered

Posted on by Dr. D Ivan Young
Man sitting with his hands pinching his brow on the phone. The Cost of Your Prayers Being Answered Blessings, Burdens, and the Fire That Refines

The Cost of Your Prayers Being Answered

Blessings, Burdens, and the Fire That Refines

by Dr. D Ivan Young, MCC, NBC-HWC

There’s an aspect of answered prayer that almost no one prepares you for—the breaking point that follows the breakthrough. You ask God, the Universe, the Divine for more: more peace, more purpose, more provision. But when “yes” finally comes, it often arrives wearing the robes of discomfort, disruption, and divine pressure. You prayed bold prayers, and doors opened—but along with those doors came weight you didn’t anticipate; this is the often unspoken Cost of Your Prayers Being Answered. 

Right now, I’m walking through that fire. And if you’re reading this, there’s a strong chance that you are too. What you hoped would feel like relief now feels like stretching. What looked like a blessing is starting to feel like a burden. But I’m here to remind you: you’re not cursed—you’re being carved.

The Answer Costs Something – Blessings, Burdens, and the Fire That Refines

 

The Refiner’s Fire: Why Growth Always Costs Something

Here’s a truth most people don’t realize until they’re in the thick of it: growth demands something from you. While we long for transformation, we often resist the very process that makes it possible. We pray for elevation—but we shy away from the heat that prepares us to sustain it.

Yet, Isaiah 48:10 (NIV) brings the process into sharp focus:

“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.”

God doesn’t whisper about the cost—He makes it clear. Refinement is intentional. The fire doesn’t destroy you—it reveals you. Every affliction you walk through serves to remove what no longer belongs. It’s not destruction; it’s divine separation.

To better understand this, picture raw gold encased in rock. The gold can’t shine until it passes through intense heat that strips away the impurities. That’s the cost of answered prayers. The fire burns away the parts of you that can’t go where you’re headed. It demands your ego, your need for control, your outdated coping mechanisms—all so the version of you worthy of the blessing can rise.

This principle also lives in the Bhagavad Gita (2:47), where Lord Krishna teaches:

“You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions.”

 

Your Responsibility

In other words, your responsibility is to act in alignment with purpose—not to control the outcome. You’re called to show up, to do the work, to move with integrity. The results? Those belong to the Divine.

So even when you do everything “right,” and life still feels like it’s shaking you to your core, that doesn’t mean you’re lost. Quite the opposite. It means you’re in the middle of something sacred.

Think of your life like a home undergoing renovation. At first, things feel exciting. But quickly, demolition begins. The walls come down. Dust fills the air. The structure looks worse before it gets better. In those messy middle moments, doubt creeps in. But the blueprint remains intact—even when you can’t see it.

That’s what the cost of answered prayers often looks like: demolition disguised as delay, disorder masking divine progress.

So if everything around you feels like it’s falling apart, keep going. You’re not off track—you’re on sacred ground.
This is what divine preparation looks like.

When Your Blessing Feels Like a Breakdown

Let’s be honest—an answer to a prayer rarely arrives wrapped in ease. Instead of feeling like divine intervention, they often feel like divine disruption. You ask for expansion, and suddenly life stretches you in every direction. You call in abundance, and almost immediately your finances face unexpected strain. You step up to lead, and before long, unseen burdens land squarely on your shoulders.

The Quran reminds us:

“Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you, and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:216)

This turbulence doesn’t mean you’re off track. It means God is rearranging your life to match the promise you prayed for. What feels like chaos may actually be confirmation. Often, the cost of answered prayers shows up as a divine reordering—removing, shifting, and stretching everything in preparation for the very thing you asked for.

In “When All the Doors Have Closed,” I shared how easy it is to misinterpret resistance, delays, and discomfort as signs that something’s wrong. Yet more often than not, those very obstacles are proof that something sacred is forming. They are labor pains—painful, yes, but necessary—marking the birth of the next version of you.

So if your world feels unsteady, don’t rush to fix it. You’re not losing your footing—you’re gaining new ground.

In the Quran, reminds us:

“Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you, and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:216)

You’re not losing it. You’re being led through it. This chaos isn’t evidence of failure—it’s a sign that your life is rearranging itself around the promise you made with heaven.

We often interpret delay, resistance, or discomfort as divine silence. But in reality, these are the labor pains of answered prayer being born.

The Fog Between Revelation and Realization

Every answered prayer takes you through a sacred middle space. This is the unseen stretch between “I asked for it” and “I’m ready to carry it.” It’s where your old identity no longer fits, but your new self hasn’t fully emerged. You’re in motion, but not yet in manifestation. And while it may feel like confusion, what you’re really experiencing is a deep internal recalibration—one designed to align you with what you asked God to bring into your life.

This in-between space often carries weight. It’s part of the spiritual cost of answered prayers. Yes, your prayer has been heard—but now your life must stretch to accommodate its fulfillment. That stretch feels like instability, but in reality, it’s sacred preparation.

The I Ching names this season “Difficulty at the Beginning” and teaches:

“The beginning of everything is difficult. Disorder must be overcome bit by bit.”

So, if you feel overwhelmed or unsteady, take heart. The disorder around you isn’t working against your blessing—it’s clearing space for it. This moment is not failure—it’s fertilization. You’re being softened, strengthened, and shaped to hold more than you’ve ever held before.

I love this article, “What Is Spiritual Discernment? Its Signs and Power Explained”, I believe that. faith works best when paired with discernment. Right now, your discomfort isn’t a warning to retreat—it’s a divine invitation to dig deeper. Instead of running from the process, let your roots settle into it. This space is not just transition—it’s transformation.

So breathe. Be still. Trust the timing.
This is the cost. And this is how you rise.

Five Ways to Stay Resilient When the Blessing Gets Heavy

1. Reframe the Fire

If life feels like it’s burning you from the inside out, pause and reframe it. What if this fire isn’t meant to destroy you—but to forge you? Instead of consuming your purpose, the heat might be refining your character. Your perspective matters. How you interpret this season will either make you bitter or shape you into someone better equipped for your calling.

So rather than asking, “Why is this happening to me?”, begin asking, “What is this shaping within me?” That one shift changes everything. Difficult seasons act as sacred resistance training. Every trial stretches your emotional capacity and strengthens your spiritual core.

Just as lifting weights tears muscle fibers to rebuild them stronger, spiritual fire breaks down what no longer serves you—your ego, fear, and false sense of identity. It clears space for truth, power, and a deeper connection to your faith.

Consider the formation of a pearl. It doesn’t begin in beauty—it begins in irritation. A tiny grain of sand invades the oyster’s inner world, causing constant discomfort. And yet, over time, that same discomfort becomes the foundation for something exquisite. Likewise, this season may wound you, but it also holds the potential to produce something invaluable in you.

So hold on. Let the fire work. You’re not falling apart—you’re being formed.

2. Practice Daily Truth-Telling

When chaos swirls around you, one of the most powerful practices is speaking truth—your truth—out loud. Daily truth-telling acts like an anchor in a stormy sea. When the world feels uncertain, your words must become your compass.

Say aloud:

  • “I am being shaped, not shamed.”
  • “My pain has purpose.”
  • “This is temporary. But I am permanent.”

Write them down. Keep them visible. Declare them until they rewire your nervous system and reshape your belief system.

This isn’t about delusion—it’s about direction. You’re choosing to point your spirit toward faith rather than fear. Words create worlds, and the world you’re building starts with the truth you rehearse.

3. Honor the Messy Middle

The most disorienting place to stand is between what used to be and what’s trying to emerge. Yet this middle ground is exactly where your new identity takes root. Although the terrain feels murky and vulnerable, it holds the sacred space required for deep transformation.

You may experience confusion. You might sense disconnection. At times, you may question everything. Still, you haven’t lost your way—you’re simply in transit. This in-between season functions like a spiritual suspension bridge. Even though the fog may obscure your path, each step forward still counts. Every move becomes progress, even when it feels uncertain.

As I explained in “Faith, Fear, and Financial Stress: How to Quiet the Noise and Reclaim Your Power,”, you don’t find peace by rushing to fix everything. You find peace by allowing yourself to fully be in the moment. So honor this stretch of time. It may feel like delay, but in truth, it’s divine incubation. This isn’t wasted time—it’s preparation.

Remember: the butterfly undergoes its greatest transformation inside the cocoon, where everything familiar melts away. That’s exactly what’s happening to you. Your former life is dissolving so that your higher self can take shape. Something breathtaking is not just coming—it’s already forming within you.

4. Ask for Help – Cost of Answered Prayers

Even the most gifted leaders rely on support. Moses leaned on Aaron. Jesus walked with His disciples. Muhammad (PBUH) drew strength from Khadijah and Abu Bakr. Arjuna turned to Krishna. They didn’t carry the weight of their callings alone—and neither should you.

You don’t prove strength by isolating yourself. Instead, you demonstrate wisdom when you recognize the need for help and act on it. Whether you reach out to a coach, therapist, prayer partner, or a trusted friend, asking for support signals maturity—not weakness. It’s not surrender—it’s strategy.

Just as a tree thrives through connection with sunlight, water, and rich soil, you grow best when rooted in environments that nourish your emotional, spiritual, and mental well-being. You weren’t designed to carry your calling by yourself. Asking for help empowers you to bear the blessing without breaking beneath it.

So if the weight feels heavy, don’t hesitate—reach out. Support doesn’t slow your journey; it strengthens it.

5. Choose Grace Over Grind

We live in a world that praises hustle and glorifies productivity, yet it often forgets to honor humanity. While culture pushes you to do more, move faster, and prove your worth through output, you must remember this essential truth: you don’t have to grind your way into value. Your worth doesn’t depend on how much you produce—it flows from how fully you choose to honor your process.

So when you feel tired, give yourself permission to rest. Rest isn’t laziness—it’s a spiritual strategy. Tears don’t signal weakness—they reveal insight. Pausing doesn’t mean you’ve given up—it means you’re gathering strength for what’s next. In seasons of spiritual transformation, soul-care becomes essential.

Think of your spirit as a candle in the middle of a violent storm. The flame doesn’t burn harder to survive—it instinctively seeks shelter. Likewise, grace doesn’t ask you to fight harder; it invites you to soften. Let grace become the safe covering that shields the sacred part of you the world so often overlooks.

In this noisy, demanding world, grace over grind is not just self-care—it’s self-preservation. So breathe, step back when needed, and trust that your stillness holds just as much power as your striving.

You’re Not Being Punished. You’re Being Prepared.

You haven’t missed your moment—and you’re not falling behind. You’re evolving. This is spiritual transformation in motion—not stagnation.
As Romans 8:18 reminds us:

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

That ache in your chest? It holds more than pain—it holds purpose.
The pressure you’re under isn’t punishment. It’s divine preparation, clearing space for something greater.
Even when progress feels invisible, know this: you’re being equipped to carry what you once only dreamed of.

Think of a seed beneath the soil. On the surface, nothing appears to change. But below, the seed breaks apart so it can grow roots. That breaking isn’t destruction—it’s expansion. And just like the seed, you may feel buried, but in truth, you’re being planted in purpose.

The cost of answered prayers rarely looks like what we imagined. Sometimes it’s silent. Sometimes it’s lonely. Often, it’s slow. But that cost is proof that the calling is real.

So take a breath. Keep showing up. Let grace meet you where grit runs out. Even when everything around you feels uncertain, your process is positioning you for the promise. You are not alone—and you’re nowhere near the end of your story.

Testimonial from Dr. D. Ivan Young

“I’ve lived this message. I’ve had doors open—only to be tested harder than ever before. At times, I felt abandoned by the very blessings I prayed for. But now I see it clearly: the fire didn’t destroy me—it defined me. Every delay became discipline. Every breakdown turned into strategy. If you’re in the middle of it, trust me—you’re not being punished. You’re being positioned.”
— Dr. D. Ivan Young, MCC – Behavioral Neuroscience Expert | Master Certifed Coach | National Board Certifed Coach.  

Dr. D Ivan Young, MCC, NBC-HWC

About the Author

Dr. D. Ivan Young, MCC, serves as a Master Certified Coach, behavioral neuroscience specialist, and Professional Fellow at the Institute of Coaching, McLean Hospital, a Harvard Medical School affiliate. He holds board certification in health and wellness coaching (NBC-HWC) and applies over two decades of experience to his work in emotional regulation, relational intelligence, and spiritual development.

His three TEDx talks have reached more than 4.9 million viewers. Major networks including CNN, MSNBC, and NPR have featured his insights on human behavior, leadership, and transformation. Dr. Young works directly with individuals, couples, and organizations navigating personal and professional transitions. Through a combination of evidence-based methodologies and practical wisdom, he helps clients integrate growth, purpose, and sustainable change.

To learn more, visit drdivanyoung.com.

Do You and Your Brand Messaging Match? If They Don't – You're Doomed!

Do You and Your Brand Messaging Match? If They Don’t – You’re Doomed!

Posted on by Dr. D Ivan Young

So you left the 9-5 world and branched out on your own. You’re still getting used to calling yourself an entrepreneur. You’ve made a name for yourself, but you haven’t met your goals yet. As an entrepreneur, you want your brand messaging to align with your values. But if you’re not living your life in alignment with your values, it’s going to affect your messaging. This goes for entrepreneurs, but also if you’re a brand inside of a brand – like a pro athlete on a sports team. 

I know how challenging it can be to put your money where your mouth is. To live your life the way you know you should. 

As an experienced National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach – I can help you live up to your vision. I know from firsthand experience what it’s like to go back to the drawing board and succeed. I’ve helped my clients do the same. 

Let’s dig into why you should live in alignment with your brand. 

Why Is Brand Messaging Important?

Let’s face it – most people aren’t going to trust a dentist with rotting teeth to take care of their teeth. To be successful, you MUST become your brand. 

If you talk the talk – but fail to walk the walk – you won’t get far. If you can communicate what you have to offer and why people should listen to you – you’ve won only half the battle. But the greater truth is – “Durable success only happens when you live what you preach.”

Walking the walk is critical for building trust with your clients.

How can you expect to expand your business if you don’t establish yourself as a trustworthy professional? 

Being trustworthy helps you with your outbound and inbound client acquisition. When you approach potential clients, you’ll be armed with testimonials and success stories. And ensuring you’re a trustworthy resource for your clients means you’ll have referrals from happy clients. 

If you want to be respected in your field, you have to make sure you’re acting in a manner that’s worthy of respect. 

How Can You Align Your Brand Messaging Strategy With Your Values?

There are 3 things every individual – especially entrepreneurs, pro athletes, and high-net-worth professionals – should be doing to nurture their personal and professional development.

     1. Take care of yourself.

This includes your mental, emotional, and physical health. What good is making millions of dollars per year if you can’t walk up a flight of stairs? 

If you aren’t healthy, how can you expect to achieve peak performance? You may think you don’t need to be physically healthy if you work in an office or your job doesn’t require it. But we all know by now that everything is connected – especially your mind and body. 

When it comes to your brand and positioning yourself as an expert, your audience will judge you by the trail of evidence you leave behind. Connect with yourself and your brand messaging will connect with your audience. 

     2.  Make good use of your resources. 

Are you throwing away your money and time? 

If you aren’t reinvesting your money, spending time on elevating your skillset, or finding ways to work smarter – your business will stop growing. 

As soon as you decide that you know all there is to know, you forfeit the opportunity to grow as an individual and as a brand. There’s always room for improvement, so don’t make the mistake of thinking you’ve gone as far as you can.

While the values that you build your life and brand around might remain the same – your chosen profession and the world around you are ever-changing. Your brand has to simultaneously remain authentic and relevant. 

     3. Show appreciation and grace for others.

I encourage every individual to treat others with decency and respect – with or without a brand. When you’re trying to promote yourself and further your business, you can’t do it alone. 

Whether you have employees, clients, or loved ones who support you – you better appreciate them. 

Clients will come back to you if they feel safe and heard. They might bring their friends too. Your employees will put their best foot forward for you if you put yours forward for them. It’s the professional version of hokey-pokey. 

And don’t leave out those in your life that you started this all for in the first place. If you lost everything today, you’d want to have people standing by your side to help you rebuild. You can make sure they’d want to stick around.  

Because if you only receive and never give back, nobody will want to support your brand.

Your Brand and Life Should Exist in Harmony

When we take action that doesn’t align with our values, we feel icky. But if you lack confidence in yourself and your values, you might ignore this feeling. 

You don’t want to get to the end of the road and not recognize the person you’ve become.

You can’t build a brand from a place of uncertainty. And if you don’t believe in what you’re offering, nobody else will believe it either. Your values and vision have to be clear to you –  so your brand messaging will be clear to your target audience. 

We all struggle with figuring out who we are and what we’re meant to do. If it was that easy, my job wouldn’t exist and there wouldn’t be demand for books and courses centered around personal development, mindset, and professional advice. 

I’m here for you and your goals. Don’t let your vision fade away because you can’t see it clearly on your own. And don’t let poor personal choices tear down everything you’ve built so far. You can either be the reason your brand is successful – or the reason it never goes anywhere. 

So what’s it going to be?

Book a call with me and we’ll come up with an individualized plan to strengthen the connection between your values and your mission. If the pieces of your life don’t coexist, it’s time to do something about it.

https://drdivanyoung.com/contact-dr-d-ivan-young/  

Interested in more posts like this one? Click the link below for more helpful content.

https://drdivanyoung.com/blog/ 

Struggling to Achieve Your Goals? Here’s What You Can Do About It

Struggling to Achieve Your Goals? Here’s What You Can Do About It

Posted on by Dr. D Ivan Young

If you’re human, you’ve felt the sting of failure and walked away thinking that’s all it was – an embarrassment and nothing else – no more to think about. This sting has likely kept you from being able to achieve your goals more than once.

You had a relationship that “wasn’t meant to be” or you had bad luck, and your business failed quickly. You tried to lose weight, but these programs that work for other people simply don’t work for you. You’re just doomed to fail, right?

What you’re not considering is why you’re not having success. What can you do differently next time to succeed? 

You’re discarding your whole experience and labeling it as a failure without looking for the golden nuggets that exist in every unsuccessful attempt. Knowledge, experience, and a change in mindset. 

These are all things that you can gain from your perceived failures. 

The reality is – the resiliency built from failure is the secret sauce for success. It is possible to take your failures and learn from them. But it’s not for the faint of heart. Many would rather drown in self-pity or believe that the universe is out to get them.

If your actions aren’t in alignment with your goals, you will fall short every time. 

But it’s difficult to see why or how you’re missing the mark. You’re too close to the situation. And the people you’ve surrounded yourself with either don’t understand your position or they have their own interests in mind. 

I know your situation, and I see what you don’t. As a respected health coach – I help professionals take themselves and their future to the next level – the level where you’re flourishing in all aspects of your life. So let me tell you what I know to be true. 

 

What Do I Know About Failure? 

You see successful people and assume they know something you don’t. Well, I can assure you, I didn’t have a fairy godmother floating around and granting me wishes. 

I’m a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach with an ICF Master Certified Coach Certification. Believe it or not, I took both of these exams twice. The first time I took the test for my national board certification, I was only off by two questions. I could’ve stopped right there and chalked it up to bad fortune; when I didn’t pass my ICF test, my first thought was the assessor could tell I was African American, and I failed due to bias. 

But if any of that were true, I wouldn’t be where I am now. The greater truth was I needed to learn from my mistakes and work harder. 

Helping my clients shift their mindset regarding failure – enabling them to accomplish their goals. And giving them the tools to ensure that all aspects of their lives are in alignment with their values. 

 

You can benefit from my coaching if:

  • You’ve achieved success in one area, but you’ve felt the need to sacrifice other parts of your life in the process.

  • You feel like there’s a disconnect between your values and your actions.

  • You’re working hard to achieve your true goals, but you’re missing the mark.

 

I can help you shift your beliefs about failure to help you achieve the goals that elude you. 

Whether you’re a professional athlete, an entrepreneur, or an individual with hopes and dreams like the rest of us – I can help you determine how failure fits into your life and contributes to your overall success. If you’re lucky enough to have natural talent, it will only take you so far. 

I know firsthand what it’s like to taste failure but not lose your appetite for success. I also know that your relationship with failure and success impacts every other area of your life. Especially your relationships with others. 

I assist you with overcoming failure, handling success, and developing a healthy mindset that will serve you well in all areas of your life.

First, to learn from failure, you have to overcome your fear.

 

How to Overcome the Fear of Failure to Achieve Your Goals

Maybe you think you cope well with failure. But doesn’t coping with failure involve doing the bare minimum? If coping with failure means not falling apart, you won’t learn anything by simply coping. 

It’s better to overcome failure than to cope with failure – as overcoming means you gain power over it. You learn what you need to do to succeed the next time. 

It’s not easy to change your mindset towards failure; if that were the case, everyone would do it. But it is what’s required to move forward – before you are faced with adversity – and after you have experienced it. 

The shame and guilt you experience from failing yourself, or someone else can be debilitating. But only if you let it defeat you. The most important thing to remember is you can learn as much – or more – from your failed experiments as you can from those that are successful. 

When you think of failure as another way to learn and grow – instead of a crushing blow that means you’re worthless –  doors that didn’t exist before will start to open for you. 

If you can recognize that failure is temporary, you’ll start to see that most things are not actually failures. If you persevere, the results you perceive as failures are often delayed successes. 

 

What Do you Gain When You Learn How to Handle Success and Failure?

When you’re an athlete, do you play the same exact way against opponents with different strengths? This would be the definition of insanity – doing the same thing over and over – expecting a different result. 

When you play against someone who is stronger than you, you don’t try to outdo them with your strength. That’s a losing battle. But maybe you leverage your speed or focus more on defense. 

Every time you fail, it is an opportunity to learn. Your skill set and knowledge build with each unsuccessful attempt – allowing you to take a more comprehensive approach toward success. 

So how does having a positive relationship with failure also inform you on how to handle success?

For starters, it teaches you humility. I’m not saying you’re self-absorbed if you’ve only had a few failures followed by massive success. But experiencing some failure does help you recognize the value of success.

It can be easy to sweep valuable experiences under the rug – when they feel like a massive disappointment in the short run. 

But if you choose to only see failure at face value – and not as an opportunity that gets you one step closer to your goal – then it will truly be just a failure. 

I help my clients see the big picture in order to achieve their goals. Everything in your life is related. From your mindset to your physical health and your career to your relationships. So if one of these things is out of alignment, then your life is too. Make sure your values align with your goals and your goals align with the life you want. Take a step in the right direction and book a call with me here.

 

As an expert on human behavior and building fulfilling relationships and a Master Credentialed expert on personality type, Dr. D. Ivan Young is a highly sought-after keynote speaker and media personality. Dr. Young is an ICF Credentialed Master

Certified Coach (the gold standard in coaching), Certified Professional Diversity Coach, a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and a Credentialed Master MBTI Practitioner. Dr. Young is also a member of the prestigious Forbes Coaches Council. 

“Only when you stop embracing old attitudes and self-serving ideologies can things change for the better.” Dr. D Ivan Young MCC, NBC-HWC, CPDC

Suspicious Behavior in Online Dating? Red Flags or All in Your Head?

Suspicious Behavior in Online Dating? Red Flags or All in Your Head?

Posted on by Dr. D Ivan Young

Virtual relationships can be challenging and often lead to disappointment, unrealized expectations, and a tainted view of relationships in general. Sometimes, they work out. But more often than not, you fail to see the online dating red flags or choose to ignore them out of your desire to be with someone. 

We all crave intimacy. And you deserve to find someone that will support you through life’s hardships. So how do you find that someone? Is it possible to find someone online and live happily ever after?

If you’ve had failed relationships from online dating platforms – or you’ve considered joining the online dating world – you should first ask yourself what you’re looking for. 

Determine the type of partner you want to have – as well as the partner you want to be. 

When I work with clients in my singles coaching program, I’m focused on helping them achieve their potential as an individual. You might be thinking, “how would this help me find success in relationships?”

The answer is clear: you’d have clarity when it comes to yourself – making it easier for you to identify who has the potential to become a true life partner. And – even more importantly – to avoid those who will drag you down. 

 

How Can You Spot Online Dating Red Flags?

While getting to know someone takes time, there are 3 common online dating red flags that you can learn to spot. Of course, there are exceptions, so you should take time to examine the situation and its potential for going downhill. 

 

  1. Beware of the person who expresses a “need” that they want you to take care of within the first 30-60 days of the relationship. 

This type of request is often accompanied by a guilt trip.

This may seem like a no-brainer, but there are manipulative individuals. Especially in the online dating world. Those who have a way of making you feel responsible for how they act. 

This can make you blind to their intentions, no matter how poor their behavior is. 

If you haven’t learned how to communicate effectively and set boundaries, you may be in danger of being influenced by people who want to take advantage of you. 

This brings us to the second warning sign.

 

  1. When someone tells you early in the relationship, “I’m only dating with a purpose.” That purpose is often selfish or misguided. 

That doesn’t mean it’s wrong for someone to be seeking connection and a long-term relationship. It’s important to be on the same page about where you want your relationship to end up. 

But this can also be a sign that they have unresolved issues. Maybe they had a bad experience with a previous partner that they haven’t worked through. Or they’re trying to rush into the endgame. 

This is a sign that they may be coming into the relationship with preconceptions that have nothing to do with you – but will affect their relationship with you. 

You can’t be responsible for solving your partner’s issues, but you can work on your own. You are more likely to spot an individual who isn’t ready for a relationship if you identify your own problem areas, triggers, and blind spots. 

And even if you’ve worked on yourself, you know what makes it harder to see warning signs? 

Read on to #3.  

 

  1.  You haven’t spent time with them in person. 

This isn’t a warning sign in and of itself. But how can you truly know someone if your interaction with them is limited to phone calls and texting?

You aren’t aware of how they behave when they’re feeling insecure or angry. You don’t know how they’d react to having some personal or professional success. 

You learn a lot about someone when you see how they act and react in different situations – not just from the information they choose to share with you over the phone. 

And then there are seemingly small things like how they treat a waiter in a restaurant. Things like this may seem insignificant or mundane – but they can differentiate a stable, healthy person from a troubled, immature individual. 

At some point, you’ll have to hang up the phone and spend time with this person. And only then can you tell what type of person they are when real life happens. 

 

So Is It Possible to Have a Healthy Relationship With Someone You Met Online?

Based on what we’ve discussed – the short answer is yes – but proceed with caution and pay attention to the online dating red flags.

The best thing you can do to form healthy relationships is to first work on yourself. If you know yourself, you will not be swayed by those who don’t have your best interests at heart. 

You can grow as an individual by examining your shortcomings – and other aspects of your personality and relationships – on your own. But why do it alone? 

Your transformation will exceed your expectations when you work with a certified coach as an unbiased and experienced party.  

 

Through my singles coaching program, I help individuals make smart decisions in their relationships – romantic and otherwise.

Book a coaching session with me if you’re ready to make room for healthy and fulfilling relationships. Yes, that includes the one with yourself.  

 

As an expert on human behavior and building fulfilling relationships and a Master Credentialed expert on personality type, Dr. D. Ivan Young is a highly sought-after keynote speaker and media personality. Dr. Young is an ICF credentialed Master Certified Coach (the gold standard in coaching), a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, a Certified Professional Diversity Coach, as well as a Credentialed Master MBTI Practitioner. In January 2021, Dr. Young was invited to become a member of the prestigious Forbes Coaches Council. 

 

“Only when you stop embracing old attitudes and self-serving ideologies can things change for the better,” Dr. D Ivan Young MCC, NBC-HWC, CPDC. https://drdivanyoung.com/contact-dr-d-ivan-young

Are You Abandoning Your Common Sense for the Sake of “Love”?

Are You Abandoning Your Common Sense for the Sake of “Love”?

Posted on by Dr. D Ivan Young

You’ve had measurable success. You’ve achieved your financial goals and more. But one thing that continues to evade you – a healthy, authentic relationship with your ideal partner. 

As a high-net-worth individual, do you fear that people will be attracted to your money but not to you?  Have you had partners that became possessive of you and your money? Or do they have expectations and spending habits that make you wonder if they’re taking advantage of your access to financial resources? 

That can be a very isolating experience. 

Forming genuine relationships as a wealthy individual is nearly impossible if you don’t work on your relationship with yourself.  And it can be challenging to learn how to manage the stresses – both internal and external – related to protecting your assets and your overall happiness. 

 

As an ICF Master Certified Coach, I’ve worked with high-profile, high-net-worth individuals to help them navigate their mental health, relationships, and reputation.

Here are a few reasons why it’s crucial to seek a highly experienced coach as a high-net-worth individual. 

 

How Can You Have a Successful Relationship Without Loving Yourself?

We often enter relationships out of desperation, fear, or loneliness. Our ultimate goal is to find someone that we truly connect with. Someone that has our best interest at heart. This can be difficult to achieve when you have assets and a reputation that attracts those with bad intentions. 

So why do we tend to choose partners who are the opposite of this ideal partner we have imagined for ourselves? Rushing into relationships is often a result of our desire for others to fill a void that we should be filling ourselves.

Think about it – how often in a new relationship do you ask yourself “why”? Why do I want this relationship? Is this person right for me? Why do I want to continue this relationship?

The answers to these questions will change depending on what season of life you’re in. You might assume that you would ask yourself the more important questions later in life. You might think you are naturally supposed to become better at choosing your ideal partner. 

This is not always the case. 

In fact, the further along you are in life, the more you have to lose by entering into a relationship. So is it safe to assume that when you have more to lose, you’ll make better decisions and become more thoughtful with your relationships? Sometimes, yes. 

But most of the time, your desire to find the perfect partner clouds your judgment and subconsciously urges you to ignore red flags. It’s hard to determine who wants to be with you for who you are and not your success and fortune.

And if you’re a high-net-worth individual with physical assets to lose, some are chomping at the bit to exploit you and your resources. They swoop in and prey on your isolation and your vulnerability. 

And because you are so receptive to someone to filling the void, you may be prone to ignoring all signals that this person does not have your best interest in mind.

 

What Happens When You Date for the Wrong Reasons? 

What you put out, you get back. 

What happens when you put yourself out there before you’re ready? When you feel hopeless for companionship and connection? You invite the wrong type of relationships. We let our desires – sexual and emotional – fog up our lenses. 

Let’s think about this. When you go to the grocery store hungry, are you likely to choose food that’s good for you? Or are you going to see those chips and pastries on the shelf and make a grab for them simply because you’re hungry? Probably the latter. 

So how do we avoid this? Don’t shop hungry. 

The same applies when searching for your ideal partner. Don’t date while you’re hungry for approval. Desperate for love that you don’t give to yourself. Starved for attention. 

Work on yourself before you commit to a relationship. Because relationships take work. And if you enter into a relationship that requires work – while also working on mending the broken pieces of yourself – you’re going to burn out. 

Your unreconciled issues create blind spots. And those blind spots lead you into relationships you would never set foot in as a healthy, healed individual. Or, you enter a relationship with someone ideal, but you can’t accept what they offer, so you sabotage the relationship. 

 

This is where I come in for my clients. I assist them with identifying blind spots while helping them find the best way forward. 

The truth is – people who are hurting tend to hurt other people. If you are unhappy or insecure with who you are, how are you supposed to appreciate when someone else sees what you don’t? 

Odds are, you won’t even recognize the value of a relationship with them. When you have no idea how to treat yourself with respect, how can you truly appreciate someone who does? 

 

What Does This Mean for You?

Don’t enter into a relationship and expect to be treated properly before you know how to love and treat yourself. Consider this – You wouldn’t take the chicken out of the fryer too early and eat it raw. The same holds true for dating. Instead, follow the “wisdom in dating”  recipe and thoroughly bake your issues until they’re edible. 

If you can’t love and accept yourself, you can’t expect anybody else to.

So when you’re looking for your ideal partner, figure out if they’re also working on themselves. Are they seeing a life coach? Are they going to therapy? Are they attempting to resolve their deeply-rooted issues to better themselves as an individual and as a potential partner?

 

My Concierge Coaching Program was created for individuals like you who desire companionship but need help managing the daily stresses of being a high-net-worth individual. 

You deserve to form healthy relationships while protecting yourself and your assets. Book a coaching session with me today. 


https://drdivanyoung.com/high-net-worth-ultra-high-net-worth-individual-concierge-coaching-program/ 

How to Utilize Setbacks, Betrayals and Obstacles

How to Utilize Setbacks, Betrayals and Obstacles

Posted on by Dr. D Ivan Young

A message from me to you. Stop being so focused on the end goal that you miss the point of the journey. Everything you’re experiencing in this season, including the moments that you don’t particularly like, is indispensable and instrumental. Each and every person, situation and set of circumstances you encounter are merely building blocks. These building blocks are needed.
Setbacks, betrayals, and obstacles are part of your process. Everything that is taking place in and around your life right now is happening for a reason. This includes the delays, the disappointments, the betrayals and obstacles that you believe to be your setbacks. Each and every one of them is divinely orchestrated with one purpose. That purpose is to redirect your energy while moving you toward the ultimate goal.

When it comes to setbacks, betrayals, and obstacles, the sum is no greater than any individual part. What you think is a setback is really divine intervention modifying your schedule. The betrayal you’re experiencing reveals who and what could have deceived you. As for the obstacle and delay, that’s your higher power preventing you from getting ahead of yourself and what ultimately will be bestowed upon you. If any ONE of those setbacks, betrayals, and obstacles were eliminated from your life, the process would be hindered. Now, as I’ve said before, the real issue is that you don’t fully trust God yet. Until you do, He is NOT going to allow you to take another step. And you will only be able to see betrayals and obstacles as such, ignoring the process. Fact – the disappointments you’re experiencing right now is the higher power preventing you from being disillusioned later.
From here forward you’ve got two choices – do it His way or continue doing it your way. Both come with their own setbacks, betrayals, and obstacles.

Consider this. Is your faith what you can see, or is it in what God is attempting to show you?
Know this. Without faith, it’s impossible to please God. You must accept that God’s Ways are Not our Ways. Have faith and understand that setbacks, betrayals, and obstacles are experienced for a reason and are a part of the process. There is a much bigger picture on the horizon.

If you need help understanding what to do next, that’s understandable. If you need help making sense of what’s going on, that’s reasonable. All you have to do is ask God to show you what’s up. Then ask Him to order your steps.
Fact – If you stop trying to figure out things that you can’t comprehend, controlling what you can control, God will immediately intercede on your behalf and show you what’s is going on and why setbacks, betrayals, and obstacles are happening in the first place.

God wants you to seek His counsel. He wants you to become wise. So, try this. Ask the Him to show you – YOU. Ask Him to speak to you in your dreams or in your circumstances. Ask Your Creator clarification about what is He trying to teach you in this present moment. See why the setbacks, betrayals, and obstacles are all part of the process.
Dear one, I am convinced of this very thing – He who began the good work in you shall perfect it, provided you remain focused and faithful.

Remember this… the issue is NOT you being able to count on God, the real question is – Can He count on you? God is faithful to His word, now try being faithful to yours. Accept the process instead of avoiding it or resenting it. Accept all the setbacks, betrayals, and obstacles that come with it.

From God to you, through me, Dr. D Ivan Young. I love you. Please pray for his favor over me, as I’m praying for you. Have an awesome day!

I love you madly, most sincerely I do…

Taking a look inside Dr. D. Ivan Young’s book, “Another Chance”

Taking a look inside Dr. D. Ivan Young’s book, “Another Chance”

Posted on by Dr. D Ivan Young

Have you read Dr. D. Ivan Young’s Amazon best seller, “Another Chance” yet? If you’re thinking about your life and wishing it would change, it may be the wakeup call you need. It’s a strong sensation when you become increasingly aware that every significant thing taking place in your life right now is happening for a reason. Whether you accept it or not, divine forces ARE working on your behalf. And whether you believe in God or a higher power, maybe you’ve come to realize that you are not alone in this.

Dr. Young’s book “Another Chance” offers some guidance and proof that unseen forces are working diligently on your behalf, giving you step by step instructions on how to connect with your spiritual self. Let’s take a look at some high-level sections of Chapters 3-6 to give you a peek at what Dr. D truly believes is within your reach and most likely already happening in your life.

Chapter 3: Everything Happens for a Reason – You’re Not Alone

“I assure you, the fact that you’re thinking about the content of your life at this moment in time is not by chance. Nor is it a coincidence; it’s not happenstance, and it certainly is not an accident. You got this wakeup call when you did for a reason. Your Creator is undergirding your evolution. Take into account all of the things you pay attention to right now that never concerned you before. You are becoming increasingly aware that every significant thing taking place in your life right now is happening for a reason. Whether you accept it or not, divine forces ARE working on your behalf. You are not alone in this. Chapter three provides proof that unseen forces are working diligently on your behalf; it gives you step by step instructions on how to connect with the divine part of you.”

Chapter 4: On the First Day – Whose Image?

“There are no magic spells, incantations, amulets, or candles you can burn that will bring forth a window of opportunity in your life. Waiting, wanting, praying, and wishing for the right set of circumstances to magically appear on the horizon is equivalent to using sorcery as a substitute for taking a bath. After you finish chanting magic words over your private parts and underarms, you will quickly come to the realization that you still stink. For you to have a snowball’s chance in hell at being successful, you’ve got to do more than talk; you will need a usable blueprint and a sound methodology accompanied by consistent effort. Chapter four provides a 7 step plan for restoration. The course of action outlined in this chapter you will permanently eliminate self-defeating thought processes and behaviors.”

Chapter 5: The Law is On Your Side

“Without rules of order and laws, humankind would subsist in a state of reckless abandonment. Furthermore, if one does not possess the greater interpretation, which is the spirit of the law, the letter thereof is worthless. As a result, if you are to succeed at this second chance at life, hedging the odds in your favor is mandatory. To gain this much-needed advantage, you must understand the four sets of laws. Concerning these laws, you will find present three constant themes: The first is order. Secondly, all laws are easily recognized. Lastly, they are not bound nor restricted by anything. In other words, all four laws are in effect twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Time, place, and circumstance must submit to them; it is not the other way around. The wonderful thing is, these laws exist to serve you, not limit you. Chapter 5 provides the guidelines to help you align your life with Natural, Spiritual and Universal Laws, thus providing the keys that will guarantee you a prosperous and peace-filled life.”

Chapter 6: Can You Hear Me Now?

“Imagine how much further you’d get in life if you could immediately distinguish God’s voice from that of your egotistical self and of others. This is particularly true when it applies to distinguishing instinct and inclination from reason and reaction. Stop! Think for a moment. What if you had availed yourself of this ability earlier in life? All the external influences that until now have tossed you from plinth of triumph to the trench of tragedy could have possibly been avoided. Perfecting the ability to differentiate between God’s voice and that of other voices will end the lack of clarity that’s been the source of every bad decision you’ve ever made. By doing such, the inability to accurately perceive situations, people, and circumstances will be permanently rendered null. Chapter 6 eliminates the middleman and teaches you how to, with clarity, distinguish God’s voice from that of any other.”

 

Are you scaring men away?

Are you scaring men away?

Posted on by Dr. D Ivan Young

Do you think women primarily start a relationship with the intention of ruining it before it even starts? Sabotage can potentially ruin a great relationship before it even takes hold. Maybe you’ve experienced something like this in your lifetime.  Scaring Men Away

So, why does this happen? Perhaps you are wanting too much, too soon. Be careful, you could scare a man away by forcing communication and commitment rather than yielding to the organic flow of authentic connection.

Here are common behaviors that are scaring men away:

 Pushing for commitment may be scaring men away

  • Being manipulative and making the man feel pressured
  • Forcing the outcome, YOU want
  • Instead of focusing on statements of commitment, keep the focus on doing things that allow you both to get to know each other

 Acting paranoid may be scaring men away

  • Being overly suspicious, irrational and dramatic
  • Paranoia can come off as insecurity, or an insult
  • Texting your man, a dozen times in one hour

 You stop putting your true self forward may be scaring men away

  • Operating from pretentiousness and egotism/pride
  • Being fake is a turn-off
  • If he can’t accept you at your worst, he doesn’t deserve you at your best

 Making too many assumptions may be scaring men away

  • Expectations set in the relationship, “Fools in Paradise”
  • Letting past experiences interfere
  • Allowing gender stereotypes, cultural and religious belief to cause you to presuppose both you and your significant other are on the same page

 Not communicating clearly may be scaring men away

  • Say what you mean, mean what you say
  • Assuming that your partner knows what, you are thinking
  • Texting vs. talking

 Acting like you’re still available may be scaring men away

  • Not conducting yourself as if your significant other is present when you’re out alone, or with friends
  • “Don’t let your good be spoken of as evil”
  • “Six Degrees of Separation” theory – so make sure you aren’t dating around with mutual friends in the same community

Not knowing your limits may be scaring men away

  • Overestimating your ability to control consequences
  • Not taking responsibility for your actions
  • Not recognizing boundaries

There are no guarantees in life or in love. Learn to love and accept yourself for who you are not. What works in one relationship may not work in another. Before finding Mr. Right, learn to enjoy spending time alone with you. If you don’t enjoy your own company, why would anyone else? Ultimately, the best any of us can do is be that which we seek. When you become such, that which you seek will find you!

Our perception of self is seldom accurate. More often the way you see yourself is one thing, but how other people see you is yet another.