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Can a Marriage Counselor Help You?

Can a Marriage Counselor Help You?

Posted on by Dr. D Ivan Young

According to The National Center for Fathering, “Children from fatherless homes are more likely to be poor, become involved in drug and alcohol abuse, drop out of school, and suffer from health and emotional problems. Boys are more likely to become involved in crime, and girls are more likely to become pregnant as teens.” Marriage Counselor

Unfortunately, many young parents aren’t prepared to be fathers or mothers and the children suffer. Many statistics say younger couples have a higher divorce rate, but there are many who stay together a lifetime. Why do couples split? Could divorce be avoided if they had sessions with a marriage counselor?

The point is marriage shouldn’t be a decision that you rush into. It is most likely the biggest decision you will make in your life, so don’t be blinded to things you don’t want to see. Going to a marriage counselor prior to being wed may help you work through some issues pre-marriage and help assure yourself that you are marrying the right person for you.

As you aspire to be a couple in wedlock, there will be fears, questions and moments of hysteria, but remain calm, there is a lot of help out there for couples struggling to show each other love. Don’t be ashamed to ask for professional help from a marriage counselor, everyone could benefit from counseling.

There are many different problems in a marriage that could cause one to end in divorce. The list is exhaustive, and no two marriages are alike, so the reasons are always different. However, working with a skilled and experienced marriage counselor who can open the lines of communication can make the difference.

A marriage counselor uses several techniques and strategies, a professional can determine what the best strategies are for you and which healing techniques should be properly implemented. However, a good marriage counselor will tell you that the most important things to practice in productive couples counseling are honesty and communication. Without those two, even the most sound and logical advice will fail to help couples. So before entering counseling and talking to a professional, both parties must make a commitment to communicating openly and being honest at all times.

If you are having problems communicating with your significant other or you just want to improve your relationship, consider a consultation with a marriage counselor. Before trusting a marriage counselor with your precious relationship, check references and ask for referrals from friends and family. Make the best of your time with the therapist. A respected marriage counselor will give you the tools to improve your relationship, your marriage, and your life. But, it is up to you to do the work.

 

Can Couples Therapy Save your Marriage

Can Couples Therapy Save your Marriage

Posted on by Dr. D Ivan Young

If you are struggling to achieve balance and clarity in the relationships in your life, it may be time to seek out a relationship expert. In couples therapy, a qualified, compassionate professional can help you pinpoint and resolve the issues that are creating conflict between you and your partner. 

Whether it takes the form of premarital counseling, marriage counseling, couples therapy or LGBTQ relationship counseling, professional guidance can be essential to the process of helping couples reconnect with one another. An experienced counselor can help you and your partner engage in more honest dialogue with one another by practicing communication that is rooted in mutual trust and respect. It is this type of environment that is at the core of effective couples therapy.

A therapist who specializes in the subject of Myers Briggs personality types will be able to accurately determine the personality type of each individual. Using that knowledge, the therapist will then be able to instruct you as to how to communicate with one another best.

During couples therapy, the therapist will use the personality profiles to guide and instruct each person regarding methods to better communicate with their partner. This results in a better understanding of how your partner expresses him or herself, and how he or she prefers to communicate with you. This insight gained in couples’ therapy will help you create a more meaningful and impactful dialogue between you and your partner.

It is vital that couples also consider how their behavior will impact their children. For many, reconciliation through couples’ therapy means they get their family back. Divorce is very hard on children who are torn between the love of two parents, often suffering the following fates:

  • They are forced to divide their time between the two people they love the most.
  • Children of single parents are more likely to have emotional and behavioral problems.
  • Children of divorced parents are more likely to be sexually active at a younger age.
  • Often children of divorced parents are in financial dire.

According to a 2014 National Health Statistics report from CDC, “Children living with one biological parent were between 3 and 8 times as likely as children living with two biological parents to have experienced neighborhood violence, caregiver violence, or caregiver incarceration or to have lived with a caregiver with mental illness or an alcohol or drug problem.”

There are many things that couples can do to revive, revamp and reignite their marriage. It all starts with knowing how to communicate with your partner. The strength and stamina of a relationship are built on strong foundations of mutual trust and respect. If you need to rebuild that foundation or regain trust, couples therapy can help. Do you want to understand your partner better? Therapists who specialize in Myers Briggs personality types can change the way you relate to your partner. Helping you to understand them better.

If you feel your marriage is in trouble, don’t hesitate to seek help. In couples therapy, you can discover constructive ways to voice your concerns and the significance of supporting each other.

 

Alternatives to Getting a Divorce

Alternatives to Getting a Divorce

Posted on by Dr. D Ivan Young

In 2016, the CDC recorded 2,245,404 marriages and 827,261divorces and annulments from 44 reporting states and D.C. Though 2016 shows a marriage rate of 6.9 percent of the population, the divorce rate is almost half that at 3.2 percent. For those in second or third marriages, the divorce rate is significantly higher. Getting a divorce.

In fact, according to the American Psychological Association, 40 to 50 percent of marriages on the U.S. end up in divorce. So, with the numbers stacked against married couples, what can they do to remain happily married? There are many alternatives to simply getting a divorce and they all begin with better communication.

Talk to Each Other 

Don’t expect your partner to read your mind. Things that are upsetting or disconcerting to one person, may have no impact on another. Share your joys, fears, sadness, and frustration with your partner. Come from a place of love when you speak or text or email. Accusatory language and angry gestures are not good tools for resolving conflict and constant behavior of that nature leads down the path to getting a divorce. Be honest and forthright, but compassionate and understanding. Deep-seated issues are never resolved overnight. In couples’ therapy, the space is designed so that couples should feel they can openly and honestly communicate.

Be Flexible

People change over time and it is important to adjust to that growth. Marriage is a give and take and a loving balanced relationship can last a lifetime. Get to the root of why you are thinking of getting a divorce. Does your partner feel the same or what are his/her concerns? Once you know these things, you can each make compromises to help make the situation better. Don’t be rigid or afraid of change. What worked in your relationship before, may not be what is needed at this stage in your marriage. Try to evolve as a couple before jumping into getting a divorce.

Make Time

Healing takes time, but more than that, it takes the will to want to make things better. Once you have discussed your feelings as a couple and adapted to meet your mutual changing needs, give it time. Therapy can be effective, but it takes time. If you are in couples’ therapy or marriage counseling, you are taking the right steps to save your marriage before actually getting a divorce. However, it is important to listen during therapy sessions, ask questions and follow through with any exercises and suggestions that your trusted marriage counselor deems necessary.  

Get Help                                                                                                                                               

Before calling it quits and getting a divorce, try these steps:

  • Have each person make a list of what he/she wants the other to change or work on, set a deadline for completing the list and sit down to go over it together.
  • Find a spiritual place you can both feel comfortable and go to faith-related events together.
  • Go to counseling. Find a therapist that you can both relate to, find a trusted professional with right demeanor for both of you.